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Gideons Libel

Submitted by Esker on Mon, 2015-07-20 11:20

Like an apostrophe in neon
the eyes falter
Like flatfoot fallout
the machine hands slip quiet
the birds light up from alley with song

breathe deep the thick mucous air
of stains vehicular clouds
the vibrant splits in the old skin of
the road
Muttons on special at the Deli
brown bag runners
and mumbling Jones on a jag

and there
shes too young to take a drag
of that slender Belmont
but you watch the ruby red
smirk
and wait for this downed
angel to pass
wait for the phone to ring
the bus to squeal in five
minutes late on time
feel the sweaty worn
steel of your peice
on old fingers

Gavel Gertie
throwing em in
Lanster the ganster diggin
em out
this town is built on the mortar
mud and straw of havoc

and Gideons gone
just like that
the talk and hock and
pawn picks up like rain
and you shiver
thinking of his eyes
who gave a man those
colors anyway

..

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Mon, 2015-07-20 18:06

Geezer's picture
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from the pedestrian point of view? "Waiting for the bus to squeal in, five minutes late, on time"
That line makes perfect sense! Yours, as always, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Esker

Tue, 2015-07-21 20:01

Esker's picture

Long ago I drove..drove..drove..and I was a driver...family driver...but for years was total pedestrian so the writing is like this..footbeat tone.rhythme ...
thank U for the comment!

author comment

lovedly

Mon, 2015-07-20 20:19

lovedly's picture

waiting
and
poetry baking

Esker

Tue, 2015-07-21 20:02

Esker's picture

like great drinks for summers sipping..like love..infatuation
observations...
thank U for comment!

author comment

Roscoe Lane

Tue, 2015-07-21 00:30

Roscoe Lane's picture

Great work again, thoroughly enjoyed this poem. Regards Roscoe....

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Esker

Tue, 2015-07-21 20:03

Esker's picture

there are stories in us all...it is the human experience and way
to share those...

thank U for the comment!

author comment

Esker

Tue, 2015-07-21 20:10

Esker's picture

I magnetize to the dazed crazed and power personas
not always stable but always entertaining the rush of the risk
patronidge and result of the story....falling in deep
and being followed as certian others wend their way deep in
the labrynth where I live..reside...create

all of this is derived of things occurent and concurrent to my
life...Hugs in bars from the bros of hardcore life checking if
im carrying a peice...the sellers..grabbing your arm at the
elbow..showing you they can lock a vein...small little niche
things..women too...Ruby Red bummed a smoke from me..
young..but complacent...no trouble...a calmness of the walk
she was beautiful...polite...decent...a good kid even though
her walk was not of the range of most...

undercover...when I got my bus photo the hardcore worker
at city hall said this about me when I laughed about my pic..
I had long hair then...And Im not undercover....but like most
humanity I have the gift of great intuition..and knowledge
of systems now....I feel more like the UN at times
I just want systems to work so the benifit is for most not just
the few whom can rally it thus...
a hard walk but a worthy one...
It does make for great writing also...
when we all hang up our hang ups and
relax of our many duties and faults and
weaknesses and soothe the strengths
with rest and regathering we can do our
work to that which we tie ourselves with
Whom we can call family.brotherhood.sisterhood
clan..club..family..tribe..

thank U all!
Esker

author comment

Geezer

Tue, 2015-07-21 20:24

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To be the brother I ought to be...
I must indeed, be my brother's keeper!
I must never forget that I am just one little tiny piece
of all that is human-kind. Great thoughts on world peace, my brother.
~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Esker

Tue, 2015-07-21 20:33

Esker's picture

I was in a position to listen....weigh words
to assist those carrying the weight
and my brother was there for me
at times..and still is
Just in touch with him again...
the airway is open anyway for the breeze
of thoughts...not the door
that so many of society want closed
to easier contain Thier view..

Thank U for the comments sir!

author comment

Eduardo Cruz

Wed, 2015-07-22 10:56

Eduardo Cruz's picture

You have created a view of life in your perception, which you have transformed into words for all to see in their mind. Impressive.
The title is apropos, Gideon is one of my favorite heroes. a bus stop is so mono-tone , but you have created a whole world of it.
Thank you for a incredibly interesting write.
I will never look at a bus stop the same way again.

Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Esker

Thu, 2015-07-23 03:34

Esker's picture

i intuitive put things down..
i forgot whom he was about..or what libel truly was..but upon re examining this
I was correct....In the story...the doubts are carried by all...the tests put out
and the weakness is judged...thus when the character or precense of "Gideon"
on the bus stop and corner where all the sins trade go about..and good!! I
travelled much and stayed long past my first bus runs to stay so that others
were not alone in an unfamiliar city....I could have just caught a bus but the
interaction is what our humanity is and the good we can share....I have sinned
much in my years...I had doubted God much..and it has come to be the payments
for this...However....the bus stop is a mono tone setting...and like his work
being a judge and worker and military person that too is mono tone...the
discipline...Perhaps God saw how this man once persuaded would be put to
his great work and calling!! I am very grateful you were able to identify this
persona in this poem and to see a new perspective!

thank U for your comment!

author comment
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