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The First Poem I Ever Wrote

Pass me the cheese for my peas,
please,
Before I get stung on my knees
by bees that carry disease!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I wrote it when I was six.
Editing stage: 

Comments

But bees don't carry disease but stings so slightly scientifically inaccurate but cute!

Perfect nonsense, and that's positive,
as nonsense rhyme is held with the greatest respect and love.

Just carry on Jeeves, or whoever you are,
make the eyes pop out of the doll on the star,
squeeze your nose when it blows
or you'll lose all your toes...Love Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

i can now only ditto

but i read some pun
in this first one

is it all about STD?

loved

No. Ha ha. That's funny though and a clever thought.

Ill let you in on a little secret, its about a kid who wants cheese on his peas but is scared of bees with disease! Hahahaha

author comment

Sorry for this beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee late
d
reply
i would never have come by
unless you had said
i had known u ere
as then i was loved
now ly added
a techy occurred
that's why may be

The local paper has a childrens poetry contest each week (Never an adult contest). This is much better than most winners of that contest.............stan PS good to see you back

I'm so glad to be back. I have missed neopoet dearly. Thank you. Like I said, Iwrote this when I was only six.

author comment

A good write for a six year old this one of mine I waited until I was 15, but that was when I left home to join the RAF..

Being

Nowhere does the sun feel so good
Nowhere does the wind blow so gentle
As in the heart of a peaceful man

Ian.T
1957

I think it may have been modified since but this is the original, would love to see all the other poets first pieces maybe make a Blog up for it.
Lovely to see you back and that signature of yours of Pangur Bán.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

What about my signature in particular.?

author comment

I looked it up and I think that it is a beautiful saying, don't ask me why at the moment it was when you were on before that I looked it up.

Myself and Pangur, cat and sage
Go each about our business;
I harass my beloved page,
He his mouse.

Fame comes second to the peace
Of study, a still day
Unenvying, Pangur's choice
Is child's play.

Neither bored, both hone
At home a separate skill
Moving after hours alone
To the kill

When at last his net wraps
After a sly fight
Around a mouse; mine traps
Sudden insight.

On my cell wall here,
His sight fixes, burning,
Searching; my old eyes peer
At new learning,

And his delight when his claws
Close on his prey
Equals mine when sudden clues
Light my way.

So we find by degrees
Peace in solitude,
Both of us, solitaries,
Have each the trade

He loves: Pangur, never idle
Day or night
Hunts mice; I hunt each riddle
From dark to light.

I love the original as it seems to be of something different, that the cat hunts mice and the writer hunts words is great..cat and sage??
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Page as in page boy was what I thought!

Pangur bán is.a cat from ancient Irish poetry that is very common symbol for wisdom .

author comment

Bees fligh in formation flight
straight lines to conserve fuel
how you find their hive
their treasure
and they dont mind to share
if you bare a sting or two

(And now they do have a disease
to themselves...but whatever dont
kill you makes you stronger....)

Bees are cool...
Love this poem

Thank You!

Like I said, I wrote this when I was six, but now my dad and I are beekeepers. What a coincidence!

author comment

It was years later that The X-Files introduced the idea of mutant alien bees carrying weaponised smallpox.

They didn't think to add cheese or peas.

I adore nonsense!

... hmmm, I forgot what a young'un you are, could be a close thing with the X-Files, better unpublish this or they might sue you for plagiarism, or target you with baneful bees!

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Yes I'm young. I'll be 21 in 22 days. I was almost 5 when that particular episode "zero sum" came out. But I've never seen it. It's funny how ideas are seldom as unique as we would like to believe.

author comment
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