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Felt

The sound of silence
can fill a room
the atmosphere
clouded in gloom
anger permeates the air
not said, but its there

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

No mushy stuff, no wasted words.

It's not entirely original, but what is in 12000 years of human literature?

Go for the sparsity and economy of words.

Bloody welll done.

To be honest, when I read your first works they kind of tingled but seemed soppy. I think you are growing as a poet.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

thanks a mil Jess appreciated glad u liked this little one have a merry christmas and a merrier new year all the best
Sue

author comment

I'll go out on a limb and make a suggestion on a free verse poem (which I'm not that good at). That last line... maybe unstated or unsaid instead of not said. Just an idea from an old rhymer lol. But I Do like the brevity in getting the point across.................stan

thanks so much Stan glad u liked this one have a gr8 christmas
all the best
Sue x

author comment

thanks so much Mark so glad u enjoyed have a gr8 christmas x

author comment

A humdinger short and sweet. The best

thanks glad u enjoyed this one all the best sueb x

author comment

A very good thought, put to words.
There is a cliché of something like "You could cut the atmosphere with a knife"
You have regenerated it.
Well done, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

thanks Ian T glad u enjoyed this little one all the best sueb x

author comment
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