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False Optimism

Is it worth holding onto something,
if it was never there to begin with?
Like feeling air everywhere,
but not being able to grasp it

What have you got to lose,
when you offer someone your heart
and they won't take it
It's waiting idly inbetween
for an exchange

Is it worth the wait,
when you have no proof,
no promise
Anticipating an imagined reverie

All you've got is hoping
That their next love will be you
That their next path will lead to you

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
A little cliché, I know, but it's how i've been feeling lately.
Editing stage: 


My first mental image for this line was of a heart made of bright parrots. Though perhaps the topic is somewhat cliche (although love is such an appealing muse, I understand!), you have articulated yourself with beautiful imagery and a flow of words that moves with humble grace. The punctuation and phrasing is perhaps what lets this poem down - it seems less considered than the word choice or rhythm. The title, though honest, could in my opinion speak more visually. Otherwise, I really enjoyed this read.

you very much! I really appreciate your insight :)


author comment

I liked the thought of holding something that is not there.
A one sided love affair, we all have them but you have written it well:-
" It's just waiting idly in between " grand line.
Though I know that a heart is large enough to have many parts, they can be spread over a large area belonging to, but not taken, it is a thing we do where you give your heart to someone and only leave a copy of dreams there, then carry a new one, though the other always works in memory if you know what I mean, LOL
Good piece keep them coming, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

you so much! :)


author comment

you! You're right, i've made the changes.


author comment

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

So yes, I think it is worth it.
The poem is lovely, but I will agree with Doomhead that the punctuation more carefully applied would have laid this poem on the "page" more adequately. That is the only thing wanting however. In all other respects the poem is quite successful and conveys (I think) what you intended.
I fear that I don't get around enough (a flaw I am working to rectify), so this is the first poem of yours I have read. May I offer a belated welcome then and hope you find the atmosphere at NeoPoet conducive to the growth you seek.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program

I'll see what i can do to improve the punctuation.
& thank you for the welcome! ^-^


author comment

Aw, thank you very much! ^^


author comment
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