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f a t h o m i n g

Submitted by Esker on Wed, 2013-01-09 01:27

a thin bell
speaks
against
a chime

cultural crimes
in modern
times

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Jenifer James

Wed, 2013-01-09 06:38

Jenifer James's picture
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Quiet round here tonight, isn't it - night off in the poet's forum, maybe! I like brevity, each word sitting in it's place in a poem - I noticed it is a rough draft, where do want to take this poem? The title is intriguing, words around some deeper inner space, possibbly?

Jenifer

Frenchf

Wed, 2013-01-09 12:41

I am. n steeped in my reality all my creativity has hit rock bottom!
To even mount a 2 line rhyme is impossible as I am faced by awfulness
Bring back holiday time
Esker needs much more my sweet.

Esker

Wed, 2013-01-09 13:48

Esker's picture

meaning in the mundane
the brilliant shows
the bottom realms

work in progress
drafty roughs

yes

holiday

always in need...............

Thank You both

author comment

Seren

Thu, 2013-01-10 07:13

Seren's picture

it has a profound quality that I often find with your work, as always a pleasure Steven

nice work keep em coming

love jc xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Esker

Fri, 2013-01-11 00:15

Esker's picture

the car doors open warning lights on keys in ignition
and on old aircraft system
then the non intrusive chime

since and now a Female voice
"warning warning..low altitude..low altitude"

the bells are like
Well Bells
Forget cells
in sheep herder countries they make them still
thin lightweight bells for sheep

and on old steamer trains a brass hell rung by the
engineer who gave a shit and pulled a cord

I like our modern world
I was born and concieved after Kennedy was shot
in Dallas...

I lived long enough to see the destruction of Saddams
palace

arent we all on a motorcade
moving through labyrnths of
statues of a fACE we made...\\

author comment

Frenchf

Fri, 2013-01-11 18:51

Than the poem or as much as!

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