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Duke Energy Nightmare
Lightening flashes hot
Sparks fly from pole blindingly
Ear-splitting cacophony
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Motivation and focus: We had a good storm a few nights ago. There were a couple very close bolts... I just embellished some with a fried transformer.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2020-07-27 13:59
I am going...
to make an assumption that your local power co. is named: Duke Energy? Good one, you managed to pick words that will be argued about. [If they are two or three syllables]. But that's okay, I think it makes it more interesting. ~ Geez.
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Teddy15
Mon, 2020-07-27 14:36
Dear Jess
Yes music to my ears!
a wonderful 577 you've never heard me sing... love your last line it really kicks.
Thank you...Teddy
Lavender
Tue, 2020-07-28 16:38
Duke Energy Nightmare
I agree with Teddy and Geezer - really like this. Love your language to describe sight and sound!
Thank you!
infinite_dwarf
Tue, 2020-07-28 12:37
Thanks, all!
Now we're dealing with a real Duke Energy nightmare! I smell a sequel....
raj
Tue, 2020-07-28 12:55
Hi Jess
Until reading the comments above, i couldn't figure out what's relevance of Duke...now it makes sense....i like short poems...yet wonder what form you mean when you say it's structured eastern?
have a good day..
raj (sublime_ocean)