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Battle Cry

I am tired
Weary of the negativity
Exhausted by derision
Drained by everyone's hatred

I am angry
Enraged by systemic bigotry
Incensed by the two-faced
Furious with persistent insolence

I am an American
I am a military daughter
I am a first responder
I will not be silenced

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Edited title Removed some "the" and replaced with better wording. Edited closing stanza.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

welcome back
your rage is heard and felt
I felt this could have used a little more depth
I'm distressed by no title

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

good strong title!

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

The raw energy of it really attracts me. There is sooo much anger in the USA, right now, that this Poem reaches out from. Bravo! It needs a title and perhaps a last stanza to take the reader to an unexpected place. Again, I like it a lot!

i feel your rage, and your last lines really bring this work full circle.

i can give you some thoughts for a title,

your last line could be one? I will not be silenced

you could also think about - now listen in

and---- i am someone

great to read this work.

Thank you...Teddy

lovely poem. the rage was felt. I could only imagine what first responders go through in the pandemic. this gives a glimpse

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

lovely poem. the rage was felt. I could only imagine what first responders go through in the pandemic. this gives a glimpse

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Hi infinite, we've not met before. I understand you've been a member of neopoet for sometime. I feel your powerful statements and agree fully. It's a feeling held in many countries, but the USA is going through an extreme situation. I only have a few nits, the usual ones, don't use so many "the's". An example below. Otherwise, splendid.

Weary of negativity
Exhausted by derision
Drained by hatred

All the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Yeah, I'm going on 12 or 13 years. Took a major hiatus after the original site crashed, and have only come back somewhat recently. I hear you're very kind, and give good critiques. I'm sure we'll cross paths again!

author comment

to all the rage and frustration of the American people. Reminds me of that movie where the protagnist yells: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore". Let's make it our battle-cry and get rid of all the denizens of the "Swamp". I like T-15's suggestion of making the last line your title. ~ Gee.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

I agree, less "the" need to be used.

Thank you, Gee - you actually just named it for me!

author comment

wish we had those here on the message board. I think we do in the chat, but would be great to have them here. Glad to help out. ~ Gee.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Hello again, I just see this as....

A cry for freedom,

But the one you have fits too!

Thank you...Teddy

Hello!
Your poem starts with exhaustion, complete weariness. I felt the weight of hopelessness. Then your poem moves on to anger and fury. I felt a surge of righteousness. And your last stanza stood tall and proud. I felt the strength of courage and hopefulness. Definitely a battle cry.
Thank you!
Lavender

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