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dreary scene

Submitted by Esker on Mon, 2016-12-26 23:55

outside the beam
living on the breadcrumbs
but in the fridge is
cream And the jar of
ambrosia..The Instant
of coffee

Gritty grey grind
and sparks
dripping

mind milling

even with Pernod
and a lady for
the nite...I would
wander restless
while they slept
turntable wavering
headphones duct
taped together
churning my all
night mix
i had it all but
unhappiness was
my fix
cheap thrills and
lah lah land..
it all bummed me
down and threw
me out....trashed
my buzz....

lucky I dont need
champagne or blow
i get high watching
the rain and feeling
the snow shivering
in my wore out shoes
excited by the edgy
groove
going through letters
sorting the news

untamed unframed
raw as the wind
shadow chariots
what could have
been

(its the weather..
she whispers in
my ear)
you've been away
my ghost...Oh how
I've missed U
dear...

breath in
exhale out
trip over my lip
smile buddy
don't pout!!

....

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

themoonman

Tue, 2016-12-27 07:27

themoonman's picture
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the whispering muse, mine only
shows up occasionally now, I feel
lost.

Thank you Esker.

Esker

Tue, 2016-12-27 09:09

Esker's picture

weather been poor...braved er to the store
for some smokes
gas bar...the nice one...about a block
wind was strong...cold..refreshing
then took poor old pupster out
kinda looking bummed out
was nice to get out for the half hour
went over the business with
the old lady and settled that
for the moment
hard to get ur ass moving when
things bum out your buzz...
As in life..
Muses come and go
but often there is that
stillness...thing is...we are
muses to people..
maybe even Amusing!
got me my little crowd of
admirers along the way
makes the journeys brighter
mine usually kick me in the ass
the rugged brutal days
get me tired....self excess
usually when the muses show
up...in life and in the minds
voice....
they were doozies in their right
and I forget that I was not the
unchallenged but the challenger
why they found the fondness
for me...still...

thanks for the comment Richard
cause its real and its true!

Mr Esker!

author comment

valene

Tue, 2016-12-27 23:01

I find there can be something almost hypnotizing watching the rain and/or snow.
And focusing on either can help to distract thoughts that i need to be distracted from.
Muses come in all shapes and sizes and weather is a good one at times. i had a rainbow literally in my backyard just as a storm was ending. It actually touched the ground on one side. I got a picture of it which didn't come out great but there it was in my yard, my very own rainbow.....no pot of gold to go with but in my mind, just having it was so magical that was enough for me! (although the pot of gold would have been icing on the cake....LOL!) It was my muse for the day!
As for ghosts, i believe in them. they've haunted places i've lived. In one house, even in the quiet of the night with everyone asleep, I'd hear their muffled voices.... never could tell what they were saying though. They weren't vindictive or anything like that, they were just there.
Just got message from my boss asking me to come in a drop early tomorrow so I'm gonna call it a night!
Nice write Mr. Wolf! You you create strong images which add to the read! favorite parts... your last 2 verses....really well put!

val

Esker

Wed, 2016-12-28 13:44

Esker's picture

I think some have the touch
some deny it but later in life
they admit to seeing or hearing
back then mental health
and the madness intitutions
that was the end of a job
or career or your voice in
the social scene
todays world is so far out
there that a lot of things
went....although its ratcheting
back....and I mean that in
the old sense of the word
Not in the kids funny
new use for Ratchet..
there is a website search
engine for the lingo
Kid would always pass sayings
past me but she knew it would
be more fun for me to figure
it out..
(ratchet was what todays girl kids
were calling each other post high
school when I found out the word
they come fast from the south the
lingo and we are a bit behind..)
Behind...maybe why I like Russia
a mash up of everything...
although again I am not a true
socialist....but am aware of how
capitlists stay capitlists by getting
in there with the money as influence
selling and buying anything like
any ruling class has always done..
thats just man....If all of Neo was on
a stretch of land living on a mountianside
or valley or rivers great alluvial plains
we too would find the order...each having
a job...
I belong to a little group called the blacksheeps
nothing major or earth rocking..we exist therefore..
ghosts....mine were benevolent but I met a few
who were not..same with people
glad U have employment!
I have one job....my woman has a part time
job..helps with food buying..cigarettes
coffee dog repair and maintenance.
house upkeep clothing...

thank U
Mr Wolf!

author comment

valene

Wed, 2016-12-28 16:06

I agree some do have the touch and maybe even more than we think....those whose minds are open to possibilities are usually the ones who experience it, even if they don't know at 1st. After awhile, when enough 'unexplainable' things occur, they begin to realize this gift....for lack of a better word at the moment. I'm thinking if more people would allow themselves to believe they'd eventually come around and realize they have the touch of gift or whatever .... one night a few years after my dad passed, I suddenly felt his presence behind me. It didn't last long, but i just knew he was there, and it was a comforting feeling. when i told some friends they kind of looked at me a bit weird but then i've been known to think out of the box so they couldn't totally dismiss it.
there have been other things as well....
as for ratchet....never heard it used in the context you mentioned about today's girls, but i just read about it and now i get it, and i think it sucks really, guess I'm showing my age not know the lingo of kids today...and teenage girls have always been known to be really nasty to one another too at times, i found guys when i was that age, to be a lot easy to trust as friends ...
with the way this world is today, i kind of like your concept of Neo being a 'stretch of land living on a mountainside.......' could be a lot more peaceful and productive than the way things are now.

thanks for sharing!

val

Esker

Wed, 2016-12-28 18:28

Esker's picture

females compete...they are cruel to
one another...
I was a weird male thinking outside the
box...could sketch...knew my way
about adult landscapes then
didnt take shit..well more then now
but I stood up against authority
and could stand in front of a crowd
and speak well...draw attention
command attention...
the more popular but less able to
handle just got me shunned
which probably saved me..
gave me more choice in who
to deal with and kept my own
integrity value and what not
on my own board...
Broker a deal...rather then
just accept..get sucked in
bagged and tagged in the
lesser crowds!

all the girls I knew had besties
they were all beautiful and brilliant
I knew the all female crew..
so many hurdles to pass..
pecking order...tests...
tricks...crap I say!
My friends dont like U!
dump this guy...go against
your p-arents..time wasting
pack mentality...some thrive
in it...works for them..
But the girls I knew..drove
about chummed with and worked
for...no other word for it!
they were sweet....treated me
with respect then the sneering
and idiocy of the smaller tiny
crowds...although years later
many are now kissing my butt
which I take with dignity and
admit that I havent been perfect
through my years...age..
the bow of temperance I call it!
Funny too cause all the all girl
crew pretty or not wanted in with
the boy crews....yes we like em
cause they are pretty and know
how to party..nothing wrong with
that...but also they are solid
stand on their own...can do the
work...math...cornering..
be like backstage pass kind of
thing where the regulars pay
scalpers and do what they have
too merely to be held at the front
with all the other thriving souls!
the bright girls get in cause they
know the score....Umm not trouble
yah! U Go girls!!

best memories were hanging with
my female chummies!
Heyy Gurlfriendz!!

ha ha!

oh what a poor poor man!!

as far as the Boyz club...I chummed
with them too....they had cars...
motorcycles...drove nice vehicles
did the odd road trip..helped out
the frame off restorations...rebuilding
hot rod motors for their old then
vintage detroit muscle cars...
they were rough..bondo multicolored
but they were SS versions...they
were standard...they went like snot
and the lads knew how to drive em!
as a passenger going zero to sixty
in a few seconds on a curve at a
straight away I knew I was in good
hands in the bucket seats..
Molly Hatchet flirting with disaster
blasting or Motorhead Ace of Spades..
a few girls I knew had their own
hot rods too...modern with the big
boom bass speakers....
five feet tall and go like hell!
years later it was luxury liners
older two door cadillacs with buddies
the old BMW...souped up pick
ups..sleepers with corvette engines
they put a discreet but fast fuel
inject under my ass..after
I had the putt putt granny mobile
just to see how I could do!!

few girls I knew could work on engines
drive a standard....get top marks
worked as accountant or bar tender
those are and were my kind of people!
dated em so I know!!

glad U got the touch! and think outside
the box...if U know even better!
I dont get paid like the techs but cool
shit like little trinket treasures..jackets
from cool places..hats...
things...things U cant get...
exclusive stuff!! authentic
I like that!!

speaking of which>>> I really
liked the T shirt they had from
this place years ago!
but I did not do anything on
management or contest work
workshops so I didnt deserve
anything...and am always
forever broke....zero money
even now....it sucks but
Im free....freedoms just another
word for nothing left to lose
like they sing!

rambling wolf in the random
world!

Thanks Val
always good chatting with U!

Mr Wolf!

author comment

lovedly

Thu, 2016-12-29 19:54

lovedly's picture

lucky I dont need
champagne or blow>>>>>>> HAHAAHAAAA
i get high watching
the rain and feeling
the snow shivering
in my wore out shoes
excited by the edgy
groove
going through letters
sorting the news

Which one r u
left one or right
if right ball
then you are okay

if still left one
gals will blow
say so they still do
a Libra may be
r u

Esker

Fri, 2016-12-30 10:28

Esker's picture

I literally with the right tone put people to sleep or
calm them down....
No Im a cancer....emotional...ornery...high maintenance
my mother was a Libra and pretty much I am her
so thats probably why!

I tend to Love geminis
for some reason

and I like Niagra a lot

thankU!

Mr W!

author comment

Esker

Fri, 2016-12-30 10:48

Esker's picture

I didnt fit in...but I sold the class on Farley Mowats.boat who wouldnt float...
and read for two weeks straight..before they gave up...Its a big book for
kids...And we went back to reading Hardy Boys....I made the mistake of
saying No to the teacher one day and he had a fit....but I was freed of
reading ever again...I wanted the other kids to read....democrazy in action
Later in life I was doing small speeches and could draw in the crowd...
But I loved radio!...loved the narration in movies....the great speeches
not speakers cause everyone has a speech writer for the most...
People want to listen....hardwired into us to follow....
and I had a good voice..knew the breaks....jokes..serious notes
brevity...anyway...I gotta get my butt moving and walk instead of
bike all across town on errands today!

thank U very much!
and Happy New Year! JG Collins!

Mr Wolf!

author comment
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