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dead air

Submitted by Simon Smythe on Sun, 2015-09-27 22:45

cool your jets
at the airport
try not to smile or frown

no joking
at the check in
they'll use your gag to hold you down

did you pack
your pants yourself sir?
how long are you in town?

if you have to look
at the airport
make sure it's at the ground

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Sparrow

Mon, 2015-09-28 04:38

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A fun piece and made me smile,
I notice that it has been a few months since your last visit here, and as Neopoet is starting to expand we need some fresh words.
As you are from New Zealand it will give us another world to enjoy,
Yours ian.T

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

eliminist

Mon, 2015-09-28 07:52

Was transported to an immigration queue, drenched in anxiety just by reading this - nicely done Sir

Rula

Tue, 2015-09-29 06:18

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indeed Simon, but wondered why "dead air" for the title?

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ThEdges

Sat, 2015-10-03 09:44

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My dad is a retired airline captain, so this was fun to me. He claims he'd have to go through "that awful line," too....and so refuses to fly because of removing his belt, maybe shoes, etc.... And I thought the form was great for kind of a quirky subj. Thanks for writing it! Best, Laura

Simon Smythe

Mon, 2016-11-07 16:43

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you

author comment

Simon Smythe

Mon, 2016-11-07 16:45

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Air = as in airport

Dead = as long as we behave like we're dead inside everything should work out fine

author comment

themoonman

Mon, 2016-11-07 16:55

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Really is a fun read, that is what I thought
before seeing everyone else's comment (which
I usually try not to read before commenting).
The airports in America are a nightmare, and
the last time I flew, I was taken aside to be searched,
in front of my then 9yr old, shoes, belt and patted all
over ... I suppose it could have been worse.

great little poem, sorry, you took me
there and got me typing lol.

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