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douse frustrations
in this cascade
wash away cruelties melted
all this border harvest ache
striking like lightening
the tinderwork heart

how this smoulder
in winters depths
like a phantom howl
let loose within
grey ghost of dream gate trace

Editing stage: 


I have little discipling like some beautiful poets here
I dropped the A
and other things in my works

in reading aloud I didnt like the link
but maybe to soften it
It may required
Im curious as to what others whom read this think
Please impart some input poets!!

layered yes
opaque sometimes
and brutally transparent other times

I tell you If I put in the a in that line
I would shift it all about
It would go
"Ghost a dream gate grey"
or something like that

im funny sometimes

anyway must run
shopping for family
bloody cold here but amazing
ice crystals falling
atmospheric and
romantic as hell

Thank you

author comment

this place is a workshop
feel free to muck around

I want to see what you see in them Seren
(and others) Sexton whom I love
and go on about was a strong writer
but she very much valued input and corporated
it into her works

shopping went well
and Im warm

thank you J

author comment

I read this as a write of catharsis. I read almost all your stuff but seldom feel qualified to suggest any changes in a form I'm still new at myself.Now I'll prove the truth of my words lol.I think there are two places where lines could be combined to improve readability : douse frustration's agony and wash away cruelties' melted tasks. I also wonder if ache should be aches ? Now you will be less likely to ask for feed back I expect lmao...........scribbler

"Ache" "Aches"

good option I never think of these things to be truthful
I sit down here at midinght and if I dont have a poem
out in less then a few minutes theres something else
going on Secondly because these are all only first
writes there can always be adaption I merely push
words at a limit of what can be viewed as a poem

I do like your suggestions though
these works Im making are rough first edits
I know people want to see elongations and smoother

And I can be approached even in real life
(at moments)

thank you for the consideration of this work for
your thoughts Scribbler

author comment
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