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Consequences

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Sat, 2024-03-09 17:24

In a very close moment,
I touched the striations near her waist
for the first time and she began to cry.
The marks, from the birth of her son.

She’d given him up before we met.
She had been in some trouble,
and made difficult decisions
that were still exacting a price
she couldn’t stop paying for.

To her, the lines were resentful,
and would never let her forget
the only physical reminder she had left.

In my youth I couldn’t imagine
the true depth of the wounds,
the ones beneath the surface,
but they were our companion most days.

The best I could do, and I certainly tried,
was to help dress the open lacerations
when they began to bleed on us.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lavender

Sun, 2024-03-10 23:43

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Hello, Michael,
This leaves me silent. You ask about the beginning and the ending of the poem, which I believe to be so forthcoming and vulnerable. The most tender human emotions. I can't help but feel intense empathy and compassion. I am not certain about the title, but I think it is because of the way the poem makes me feel personally. I understand the meaning behind the title, and it is deeply thought-provoking and honest. I have no suggestions, but I'm longing for something perhaps a little more self-forgiving from the title. Dunno. Maybe the title is actually perfect because it definitely stirs something with the reader, or at least, with me. Such a heartfelt final line.
Thank you,
L

Michael Anthony

Mon, 2024-03-11 10:09

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I value your thoughts on this very personal piece L, thank you! I hear you about the title, but thought it fitting given the repercussions difficult decisions we make can have throughout our lives. I was very young when I experienced this, and this and other decisions she made led to us both moving on to different paths (I definitely made some mistakes too). One of my most somber poems, but had to get it out of me, for better or worse.

Best

Michael Anthony

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Lavender

Mon, 2024-03-11 10:39

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Thank you for sharing.
L

William Lynn

Tue, 2024-03-12 11:23

William Lynn's picture

Hello Michael.

"Wow", enough said. Thank you for sharing a piece of your soul and life experience. Job well done. - Will

Michael Anthony

Tue, 2024-03-12 22:53

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Thank you Will!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Candlewitch

Wed, 2024-03-13 08:06

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I feel a kinship to your poem as it echoes a section of my early life. I like your title, Consequences has been a big part of my life. My Dad told me; "Always consider the consequences of your actions. Can you live with them, for they will be a big part of who you are and will become!" thank you for bringing back this memory to me!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Michael Anthony

Wed, 2024-03-13 10:52

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Thank you Cat! Not all of us have been fortunate enough to have a father's wise guidance when we were learning how to be better humans in our youth. I know you are grateful for this. Glad you liked this piece.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment
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