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I seek the answers to the questions
First I must ask the questions.
Do I want to crawl upon the earth?
Did I wish so many to live in poverty?

When will you stop the children dying?
Where are the shelters you should have built?
Can you say you have done enough?
Why do many become ill, for the want of food?

Will that rifle, stifle cries for a peaceful time?
Why do full metal jackets scream questions?
Does splitting the atom feed the children?
Do the poor make poverty, or is it the rich?

My choice was to crawl on the Earth, to learn!
I don’t want to live in poverty, can’t you see!
I am here to live, not die for your greed!
No religion can build me a shelter, help me!

More could have been done, it’s why I cry!
I saw them trade our food for a rifle!
Shooting me will not stop me crying!
A jacket to ward off the cold is all I ask!

I cannot eat the enriched explosive dust!
I did not make this life, you gave it me!
I can only tell you, as it is my now.
Is there a chance you will sort it somehow?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Thought that I had better write something this morning, probably when I spend more time on writing I will become better, but time is an enemy of mine, as He gnaws at my life force.. Teach you we should, La La.
Editing stage: 


The logic is consistent the anger is very clear, but i believe the anger has rushed you along. Perhaps you could read it without the anger and tidy this one up a little. I agree with the way your'e thinking just need a little work. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

For your visit to this write, Ian is not angry, as I said to French I was thinking of a wish list and this is what came out and it was as written without edit, so I will see to that during the weekend, and many thanks for your comments they will assist the edit, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

That is.clearly expressed thank you

Ian.T is not up tight with things, it was just a write, I was actually thinking about a wish list when I wrote this one, and look how the words came out.
I wish that I had a magic wand to make all the bad things go away.
I have been told that this Earth place, is where we come to learn of the way a physical body reacts to all material things and situations.
This is so when we return to Spirit we will be able to enhance our Spirit, and move to a higher level.
That is another story, some of which is written but the rest has a way to go,
I have been told that I am now capable of writing without the help of my children friends, but I miss them so very much, but know they are so near that I can touch them in think.
We will see how and when to write of their ways,
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

There is so much passion and outrage in your poem, I totally get it. It spits out words, it is your shout, your cry. Your anger.

I am not a fan of lots of question marks and exclamation marks but this not my poem.

The last line doesn't work for me - it's not strong enough to carry the power of the rest of the poem (in my totally disposable thought process). I think this poem has deep foundations to become great. It is my memory. Thank you.

Jenifer Jaspa James

This was just a play time thing and written in haste, I lead a quiet life but can be a "grumpy old man" lol Not sure what to do with this piece yet I have copied it for an edit.
So tomorrow I will have a go at it time permitting.
There are a few urgent things I need to attend to but we will see.
Many thanks for your visit, I look forward to your comments.
I lived in Wales for a year or so, from:- Fleur De Lys near Pengam, to the bleak Pontlotyn up near Merthr..
I worked at Telephone exchanges in Abergavenny, Cearphilly and Cardiff, it was a lovely job one of the most enjoyable, and a lovely part of the world also did some work in Pembroke, I fell in love with their way of life, as I did with the Zulu's of Africa a lovely people and if they were your friend then that was it. Still that's another story LOL.
Take care out there young Lady maybe I shall visit there again one day unless I take the ferry LOL, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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