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BULL'S EYE

Submitted by Geremia on Sun, 2012-11-04 19:22

BULL’S EYE

you hit your mark
you knew it well.
you knew my heart.
the poison lingers still.
your words like jackals
on the hunt
found their kill.
they ripped and tore
until nothing more
of me
was for the taking,

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Mon, 2012-11-05 02:40

I found...

this one very succinct and liked the fact that you didn't linger with it, like the poison in your heart. You said what you needed to say and left it at that. Leading me to believe that you are becoming healed from the wound, but bear the scar proudly. A cartharsis. ~ Gee

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

Geremia

Mon, 2012-11-05 04:03

Less tells more.

thamks, my friend,

author comment

Ian.T

Mon, 2012-11-05 03:22

Joe

You survived an attack from Killer..
Good write and as Gee said it didn't mess about as an arrow in darts straight to the bulls eye..
I hope you are well young traveller, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Mon, 2012-11-05 04:05

sometimes the understated is

sometimes the understated is stronger message.

thanks, Ian

author comment

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BULL'S EYE