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Brine Tide

Submitted by Esker on Thu, 2015-06-18 00:17

The iron soul
with its palette
The Lion footed
beast

The rain slicks back
the slate
To gas fed times
And in the Oaks
once tiny are the
arms of giants
striving in the dark
orchestra strong

So large a room
the great height
windows
ceilings with black
brass on chains
reaching down
like thoughts and
clouds in the
din of environment
The television lonely
in a narrow room
cries hauntedly
Like a lighthouse
of blue hope

The Bay window
pilothouse of tears
The water rising
drip by pouring drip
a rousing cascade
from the hard chrome
the cracked cake of
peppermint soaps
oils liniments

the razors dull shine
a blank mirror silent
tonight

steam rises like
cold mornings
the sun a slag of
porridge on
the beach
and dune sands
forgetful

Amber.....

A color of August
full of history
a slide of life

cold coffee and a
plate of cigarettes
crosswords

I remembered
in dreams
I wish Too forget
the travel in
the river
dreaming
when the power
of the weather
ravishes the ghosts
to speak

Lukewarm

perfect
creek cold
eventually

the hours
unfurl like penants
on the used car
lot

everything baptised
almost pure
in the sleet
lulling like
the muse of sleep

...

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

crypticbard

Thu, 2015-06-18 03:07

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The shifting of mental gears, not straightforward but not an obstacle course. I was hoping to be guided a bit by punctuation but that's left out intentionally- gives it a much rawer feel like four wheel driving as opposed to inner city motoring.

__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'

lovedly

Thu, 2015-06-18 13:24

lovedly's picture

poetry without punctuations is a natural beauty... as it leaves

the mouth open of each one
the reader can pause
as he might and breathe
a sigh of relief
poetry is just a conveyance of thought
ponder as you may
at any corner of time and day
rest a while as you recite
or gulp it up tis alright
poets leave it to your might !
okay mite.....

Esker

Thu, 2015-06-18 13:37

Esker's picture

I want to say Biz of this..
but its more....You add a flavor to your write!
Punctuation would give it the spice...
and originally when My mind was
extremely all over the place
Severely abstract...I could not compose
it had to come out in this furious staccato
if I paused it would be lost
Now I can write slower.
eight years Ive been around here!

Rawrrr feeling...."Badges who needs stinking badges"
and I never had four wheel...I had some pretty
big cars I just rolled slowly over the rutted trails
Knowing if I got hung up It would be a hell of a tow
bill or damage the damn thing!
Sitting on the seats with an arm out..radio
cranked...
Damnation Alley Style!

I read Robert Lious Stevenson ....Milton as I
always shake my head at...Shakespeare I
enjoyed...Atwood...a brilliant writer...and
many others...Sexton still I love...and do..
The mental gear shift.....Its like swinging my
big ol head when im in the mall...looking
behind the tinted shades...six one....
prowl catwalk stroll..Driving in the sim games
like in any high speed driving....you have to
calcuate trajectories and velocities fast
Pool Hustling same deal..

Metal Gear....another sim game that had a
song use for trailer of theirs...Devotchka
I run on the twenty one speed enough..
no helmet..no gloves...
army jacket flapping..black t shirt
sunglasses smoke hanging out of my
face....

Turning my head slow.....people are
startled by some
slow is casual...
I want to drive faster...
write faster....
eventually...
the trade off
is losing the story
or whatever resemblance
of focus..
The punctuation was
is for me like waiting for
the lights..not cutting
through parked cars
to get across the
parking to front entrance
Where I stop lock my
bike and have a smoke
anyway....Its just fun

When I did town driving
or inner city....I did
roll about the streets
but one must be aware
of ones persona
ones craft
and ones city to do
this respectfully and safely
enough...

Not an obstacle Course.!

exactly...like pinballl
as opposed to a maze..
Fluidity....
although the structure
of gaming..such as
chess is challenging..

waking up still...
missions to do today
downtown on bike
looks like rain....
exciting...

again thank You!

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