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Because your not here

Submitted by Poetofheartof2015 on Fri, 2015-12-04 21:55

Because your're
Do you think I cry a lot
And still miss you?
No I don't!
Because your're
Play in the sun with me
Do you think I stay indoors
And hide from the sun?
No I don't!
Because your're
To go and about with
Do you think that I just
Stay home and pout?
No I don't!
Because your're not here
Does not mean that I stop living
And enjoy life!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Sparrow

Sun, 2015-12-06 04:29

Sparrow's picture
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The "your're" is an incorrect word use just needs the first "r" to be dropped, or better still use "You are" it will be smoother and run better.
Subtle write, just colour it a little more,
Yours as always Ian..

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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

wesley snow

Sun, 2015-12-06 15:30

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Poet, was "your're" intentional. It rhymed with another "e" sound
What say you?

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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