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AFTER THE WAKE

Submitted by Geremia on Mon, 2016-06-06 18:10

AFTER THE WAKE
the women young and old
walked around the large
rectangular table , their pale skin
framed in faded black dresses
torn black stockings,
and, old, black shoes.
they seemed to be in a dream:
silence in slow motion.
The men were seated
waiting to be served
their share of demi-tasse
and Italian pastries;
they lit their cigars and
no word was passed among them
for they confronted
their mortality once again…
the women faded quietly
away into another room
this is how it happened;
this is what I saw and would see
many times more.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Sparrow

Mon, 2016-06-06 18:53

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I seem to have read this one some time back and now it still has that impact.
A great write young Joe/Richard, you take care and see if Richard would like to write a piece of his for us??
Yours Ian..

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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

jane210660

Tue, 2016-06-07 05:03

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There is a quiet acceptance about this that I find comforting and worrying at the same time.
Is it 'his share' or 'their share' just struck me. Jx

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brittle light

Tue, 2016-06-07 06:37

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How you compact a scene, a culture, humanity, into such a simple and clear word picture is quite amazing. I always feel a compunction to emulate your writing style after reading your "small" stories.

But , alas, I know you are inimitable.

with abiding admiration,

Al

scribbler

Wed, 2016-06-08 08:24

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The line about confronting mortality is exacting in the way funerals affect me. Good job as usual....stan

Geezer

Wed, 2016-06-08 18:19

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of the funerals and wakes that I have been to. They all have pieces of silence
and then outbursts of loud talk and clatter as though to chase away those very feelings of confronting one's mortality. Nice work! ~ Gee.

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lovedly

Thu, 2016-06-09 12:37

lovedly's picture

hope
this
is
NOT
the
Finale
yet!

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