Neopoet

Sun, 2020-08-30 15:30

workshop

I have 20 people listed but all are welcome to join I won't turn anyone away

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
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author comment

Ray Whitaker

Sun, 2020-08-30 19:30

How to get on the list to participate?

Hmmm...

Sun, 2020-08-30 20:51

Ray

I will be happy to add you

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

scribbler

Sun, 2020-08-30 20:28

please

count me in

Sun, 2020-08-30 20:54

Stan

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Gracy

Sat, 2020-09-05 14:33

Hi, can you put me on the

Hi, can you put me on the list?

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Sat, 2020-09-05 14:49

Gracy

have added you thanks for joining us

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Thu, 2020-09-10 17:48

here we go and welcome

Far be it that I should tell anyone how to critique
however I can offer a few suggestions
1- critique do not criticize
2-check spelling I am one for misspelling of words
3- remember you may be proficient in your writing but there are those that are just getting started
4- abide by their requests example being "I want the raw truth" etc do not give a blow by blow critique if not asked for such as " take care this is a sensitive subject"
5-suggest do not demand , there are times when a person will refuse to take you up on your suggestions, so be it
I once had a person re write an entire poem of mine because they
did not like the wording this is not a critique as it were there was a copywrite on said poem
6- suppose you have a poem where there are no errors or suggestions what then? well tell them you liked their poem but also remark about the style, wording ,find a phrase or sentence that you were drawn to

7-if there are no errors or suggestion what then? well tell them gently then tell them why you did not care for their work point out either words or sentences or any uncomfortable feeling you may have had
8- remember this site is a workshop not a mutual admiration society ,no back slapping, atta boy we are here to help. improve etc

I welcome an open discussion about this ,suggestions , additions , etc this will be open for one week at which time either Gee or I will assign a poem for you to review
leave your comments on the poem then return here for further discussion on
how you felt about the pom
how you felt about leaving a comment

the group will also view your review and comment on it this will be done in the WORKSHOP and not the stream

If we run past the twenty one days that will be alright as well

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

scribbler

Thu, 2020-09-10 20:18

Hi everybody

Critique has somehow gotten a bad reputation. too many people think it can only be a negative comment on a poem (which it often is lol) but it can also be a positive thing. If you run up on a poem there is Nothing wrong with pointing out something specifically good that you might have found in it. Something that you maybe think is particularly beautiful and Why you think this is so.
In a previous shop we discussed something call a "sandwich" critique. this type starts with a first layer of praise for the poem. this shows the poet that you are taking his/her poem seriously. Next comes the middle or "meat" of the critique where you point out something that you think needs work. then the last layer where you once again point out something good or maybe leave with a phrase such as "I know you can redo this better than I ever could.
This sandwich type is especially useful with people new to writing or this site as it gently shows exactly where improvement is needed( this won't work on ME because I need improvement Everywhere lol) While also showing the writer that you have put thought into his/her poem....stan

Fri, 2020-09-11 12:09

Dear all

of course my worst fear is offending so i tend to sometimes pass stuff by that perhaps i shouldn't. thats what i would like to learn some confidence, to help. Also i would like to point out that i've been here much longer than is written on my home page, I have been here when we have had some really tough critics, so i guess i have learned that it's the way you say it too. sometimes there have been critics that have made my computer shake, and have indeed sent me away, because maybe i thought they were unkind? I just know that looking back even the harshness helped my plight. Then there are those who have managed to speak with encorouging words without offending so i guess we can learn to give and take.

Thank you...Teddy

Fri, 2020-09-11 12:59

Teddy

First off remember we are a workshop siteand hopefully people will be receptive to a critique don't shy away for fear of offending someone in my opinion if they become offended then they really didn't want to hear anything except "OH WHAT A GREAT POEM YOU WROTE" even though it might need a lot of work
Just keep it in mind before you start your critique look at tghe intensity they have checked off , if none then treat it as raw truth you are going ti find that some folks will over use the "be gentle this has special meanin g" just to avoid being reviewed harshly
if you follow them you will find all of their poems are sensitive
they are not serious about their work either

there is a diplomatic way of saying anything in a critique

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Fri, 2020-09-11 13:14

Dear Chrys

Thanks for your words they are meaningful to all of us. I'm so glad you understood what I was saying, I know sometimes I don't express myself so well. This is a learning site and having critics is vital to keeping it here, neopoet for me is my first and only home. If I can help someone bring a poem to its full potential I would feel proud I would also be thrilled as I have been many times to have people tell me the truth about my work, sometimes like everyone I get it right and sometimes I get it wrong.
The key is to want to learn and to listen

Thank you...Teddy

Fri, 2020-09-11 15:44

teddy

and that right there is why we are here isn't it
you will be getting the links to poems we(gee and I) would like you to review as per the current conversation you will go ahead and post your comments to the author but here on the workshop link we will discuss the poem and your review of it
good luck darlin either I or Gee will send the links right here in the workshop be sure to ck the box that asks if it is a workshop critique

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Fri, 2020-09-11 15:49

Ok

Darling, I will be here waiting.

Thank you...Teddy

Fri, 2020-09-11 17:55

And away we go...

I guess that I have nothing to add; Chrys and Teddy have said it all. The only thing I will say, is that I hope this workshop will be useful to you all. ~ Geezer.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/she-doesnt-recognize-me

Sat, 2020-09-12 08:47

teddy

here you are try this one remember what we have discussed
live shrey a comment then come back here make sure you ck the box that says workshop critique

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Sat, 2020-09-12 09:44

Dear Chrys

done.

Thank you...Teddy

Sat, 2020-09-12 16:19

teddy

that was perfect now how did you feel about putting yourself out there? Did it make you uncomfortable
I must admit I was the first one to critique him on his very first poem I went line by line blow by blow
he is one ot those that post yet does no respond hang on I guess I must apologize for giving you a problem but as I see it you came through with flying colors will give you another in a minute

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Sat, 2020-09-12 17:58

Dear chrys

I enjoyed writing a review, however I was a bit worried that it may offend.im pleased I passed this first test. I see he doesn't respond, if he did we could have some idea of the reasoning. No matter, I enjoyed "helping"

Thank you...Teddy

Sun, 2020-09-13 14:18

offending

I wouldn't worry about it , people post their work so it is there for a review /help/etc
remember this is a workshop not a just another place to get a pat on the back

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Sat, 2020-09-12 16:24

teddy

here ya go try this one https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/getting-my-undesirable-visitor-ot...
we know and love Jerry's poetry so this one may get a bit more difficult because he is a friend ok forget the friend and look at the poem for what it is do not let your feelings get in the way
good like darlin

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Sat, 2020-09-12 18:08

Dear Chrys

Yes I guess writing an actual review for one of the greats is a bit harder for me. I guess I could use the word intimidating. But leaving a review doesn't have to be negative and that's what I have just learnt.

Thank you...Teddy

Sat, 2020-09-12 18:08

Dear Chrys

Thank you...Teddy

Sun, 2020-09-13 14:23

intimidating?

there is no reason to feel this way no one is greater than the other. we all have different styles of writing
a smart man(Lon) once told me we are eaual the exception is we have different styles of writing, this was in answer to me saying he writes so much better than I
I gave you that last poem because I just knew you would feel the way you do and wanted tyo see how you handled it

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Sun, 2020-09-13 14:54

Dear Chrys

You make great points, actual when Lonnie gave his reviews he was one of the kindest and that's what worked for me. X

Thank you...Teddy

Sun, 2020-09-13 14:32

teddy

next up https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/winter-morn-epitaph
we have to get you through that feeling of intimidation Alan is excellent
don't hold back because he is outstanding
you won't find error so find something else
a line or a word you can pull from his work that struck you
your review of Jerry's poem wasn't to bad I would have expected to see more in the way of as I have stated above
pull something out of the poem that struck you and elaborate on that
give Alan's a shot and see where it goes I have not been posting or doing any reviews trying not to use my hand to much

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Sun, 2020-09-13 15:33

Dear Chrys

done! i feel very comfortable, i am grateful for this chance to learn more, i hope i can become a better reviewer and i hope to be remembered for my thoughtful reviews. it's weird taking more time than i usually would to write, but that's just normal life issues i am not here 24/7 like all. I guess what i have learnt even today, is to take my time even if i only get to review one poem it's enough, quality not quantity. Thank you...

Thank you...Teddy

Mon, 2020-09-14 07:12

teddy

that is the idea you do not have to harsh to be a good reviewer, in fact more people are more receptive to a gentle review just be complete and concise you up for another one ?

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Mon, 2020-09-14 07:40

Dear Chrys

Always

Thank you...Teddy

https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/dirge-undulating-hill-tribute-rob...

Mon, 2020-09-14 14:13

teddy

give this one a try he is a very complicated writer in that there is a difference in language
dilect wording etc

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Mon, 2020-09-14 15:24

Dear Chrys

im a bit of a fan of him, I enjoyed writing my review.

Thank you...Teddy

Wed, 2020-09-16 12:15

teddy

nice job on that review
now then
let's see what I can find for you to hone your skills on
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/lunar-linings

I just read it and find it masked by fancy writing where is the meaning what is the meaning perhaps you will find something in it

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Thu, 2020-09-17 08:33

I found...

this one to be very interesting and felt the same as Teddy about it. I missed the reference to the moon and would change my opinion to match Teddy's; that it might be about a werewolf, rather than a vampire. Nice review Teddy. ~ Geez.

Thu, 2020-09-17 09:01

Dear Geezer

Such an interesting write, I actually imagined this to be even about
bi-polar I'm not an expert but just something within just made me think about the transition from darkness to light at least once a month or vice versa. Hey I thought you were good it can still be about vampires so go with your heart. It's great to learn right, and we never stop I hope she lets us in on it, it would be great to know more.

Now throughout my reviews I have t put any in workshop box when writing them. I hope that is ok, sorry I didn't even think to ask.

Thank you...Teddy

Wed, 2020-09-16 13:06

Dear Chrys

Done, my friend, that was a hard one for me. But I really enjoyed.

Thank you...Teddy

Wed, 2020-09-16 17:36

Teddy

why did you find it difficult

I for one did not like itI felt it was too obscure in it's language and very difficult to get the concept

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/stir-crazy-critique-workshop

Wed, 2020-09-16 17:56

teddy

there ya go

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Thu, 2020-09-17 02:58

Dear Chys

done.

Thank you...Teddy

Thu, 2020-09-17 12:03

Teddy

have read all I am going to let Gee take the reins for a few days

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

author comment

Thu, 2020-09-17 12:08

Dear Chrys

Tale care, you'll be missed and we will wait your return. Good I get a rest now. lol. Hey gee if I can help with anything PM me look forward to reading some reviews from the other participants

Thank you...Teddy

Thu, 2020-09-17 15:22

Yeah, I would...

love to see some reviews by the others that are supposed to be particpating in this workshop. Chrys says to keep you busy. I will find a couple of poems for you to critique. I will post a title for you tonight. ~ Geez.
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Thu, 2020-09-17 15:49

Lol

hey ho, no rest for the wicked, don't rush my darling Geezer. I'm having a rest.

Thank you...Teddy

Thu, 2020-09-17 21:10

Yes...

Take the next couple of days and find a poem by Esker, or even one of his comments in reply to critique or comment.
[He wrote many replies to critique and comment as another poem]. Take your time and tell me what you think of it. Give the opinion as though you were reading a poem by him. Try not to let the comments by others to influence you and say what YOU think. ~ Geez.
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Fri, 2020-09-18 06:15

Dear Geezer

In consideration that Esker is no longer with us, may i ask out of a deep respect to him, that i pass on writing a review. I have had many wonderful encounters with Esker in the past, and considering i know he would have loved to reply to my critique, i would wish to pass, he was an incredible poet and it certainly makes me sad to see so much of his work on the first page of the non read poetry. His poetry was unique and really hard to judge, simply because he was a true artist.
My friendship with esker was mainly writing what i saw in his poems, we had a great friendship. Please accept my apoligies, but if you want to push my boundaries, i'm happy for you to choose any other poet/poetess, that are actually here, i've noticed people don't reply to my words, on the workshop. Thank you Sir, i know you will understand. Sorry to upset the workshop.

Thank you...Teddy

Fri, 2020-09-18 09:57

Not a problem...

I understand. How about you choose to critique someone on your own? Give an in depth review of anyone you wish. Perhaps me; as I am here to answer to your review? Choose anything you like and I will be happy to answer any questions about why I wrote what I did. Be brave and ask anything and challenge me. You won't be disappointed. ~Gee.
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Gracy

Mon, 2020-09-21 14:51

Hi Geez, I've finally arrived

Hi Geez, I've finally arrived here and read all the comments and suggestions. You may give me a poem to critique, I may not do it at once, but I'm happy to join in.
Best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/sight

Mon, 2020-09-21 22:39

Seeing how...

I am here and looking over my old stuff, I thought that maybe you would like to critique this old one for me and I can tell you exactly why I wrote what I did after you do. The name of the poem is [In Sight]. Sorry I don't have an URL for it, but you can find it on the fifth page of my works about halfway down. Take your time, ~ Geez.
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Alan S Jeeves

Tue, 2020-09-22 04:27

May I have a pop at this fine poem Gee?

A thoughtful and well presented piece I think.

Your title is fine (although I may have dropped the space and used Insight ???).

Nothing to say about the rhythm etc. it is ok.

The theme you have chosen is one which we (older ones) encounter at some time or other ~ very apt.

Beginning: Doors open and you walk into the poem ~ good.

Ending: That really can't be me (of course not) ~ great finale.

In stanza 5, L. 2 It may be useful to make the line into a perfect eight by adding one syllabubble, say:-

'I am someone you want to know.'

Also (but I'm not sure about ~ need to think about it) in your ultimate stanza I wonder that you could use:-

'All I see, is the deep, dark horror' (Mirror = Horror ???)

I was pleased to read this piece so thanks for pointing me in that direction Geezer.

Cheerio old boy, I'll see you soon.

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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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