ever so gently
he takes my hand,
fibriomyalgia at bay
I can barely stand...

psoriatic arthritis
my deadly pitiless foes
with me always, taunting
pain with movement grows.

he helps me and comforts
when I'm low down,
making me laugh
when I could easily drown.

my friend, husband
long time combatant and lover,
never makes me feel useless
he has my back and my cover

ever so gradually
old age comes
"a creeping"
silently,
the years accrue
as snow drifts
slowly
little pains and aches
come unbidden.
the heart breaks
for want of relief
from the agony
of time's
relentless march.
we find ourselves
slowing down
as we face
each new day.
treasured memories
are packed away
in folds of silk.
we become smarter
no longer rushing
head-long into battles
because it hurts
too much to be

hot pins
needling necessity
slow consciousness
like molasses
returning
viewing disaster
in the bathroom mirror
haunted eyes
returning glazed gaze
back to the bedroom
seeking stash box
revealing smattering
of faint residue
on used gram bag
split open and scraped
removing last trace
of meth amphetamine
euphoria on the rocks

I was hanging on tightly
to what you were just passing through

I found comfort in fleeting things
because they were more predictable
than your peregrine heart

You still don’t know what love means
to those who have to push it down,
hoping the light from the surface
won’t break over them

"Why did it end that way?" she asked
when we spoke some years later

Two cups in we agreed
We couldn't find our way back
to who we wanted to be

It’s like our patched-up hearts
The bandages do come off
but they will never be the same

Moon.
My silent witness.
Reflection of creation.
Where karma sits in residence.
Let go.

Consider this a lamentation
A remembrance of a loss
that I grieve for -
One that’s silently felt

No amount of preparation; could
Make seeing the pictures easier,
The hollowness
The fear

Don’t give in - to the temptation
You have have done
the recovery

Find your motivation
I hear the birds again
That chirp had become
So distant.
Sunlight is not rare

I am my own inspiration
I have climbed a mountain,
Conquered a jungle
And I survived.

This is my new celebration.

Valentine's Day my arse!
O but I loathe it beyond human belief!
A load of stupid lovesick fools
Buying ugly cards to send each other
With sloppy sentimental lovey-dovey doggerel;

Those "hot" dinner dates (Covid permitting):
Where's the love in being ripped off in third-rate restaurants
With fourth-rate food at extra high prices?
God in Heaven, but it makes me sick!
How fortunate is the man with no one to love
And with no one who pretends to love him.

They won’t see that you're hurting.
They won’t see that you’re crying.
They won’t see that you're in pain.
They won’t see that you’re alone.
They won’t see that you’re stressed.
They won’t see that you’re depressed.
They won't see that you fake a smile.
They won’t see how nice you really are.
They won’t see how tired you are.

People ask me what love is
and I smile because I know
I see the answer in you every day

Your sadness for old shoes
left on a windowsill
waiting to be rescued from the rain

The scar above your eye you hate
when it speaks to you in the mirror
Always and relentlessly there,
sharing a place with older wounds
just below the surface

It’s not perfection I seek
It’s the little things that are real
and draw me closer to you