Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

minor reprieve

hot pins
needling necessity
slow consciousness
like molasses
returning
viewing disaster
in the bathroom mirror
haunted eyes
returning glazed gaze
back to the bedroom
seeking stash box
revealing smattering
of faint residue
on used gram bag
split open and scraped
removing last trace
of meth amphetamine
euphoria on the rocks

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

It is a great poem but I cannot help absorbing its bleak and soulswept tone and I'm not feeling too optimistic at the moment so I am in a quandry. No frills attached. Sad sad sad. Where is the "minor reprieve" unless it is the few licks left in the gram bag. I have visions of you like a dog licking the last remnant of fried chicken that's been around some time. I don't do drugs (except I do drink) - pitiful. The structure surely adds greatly to the sparse timbre in the words. Words are spikes in the wrong hands. Yours are right but wrong. What I'm trying to tell you is what you already know.

thank you for being totally blunt and honest with me. I value your opinion. your impressions are right on. in this poem, I wrote about a time and memory from long ago, which bothers me from time to time. usually on sloppy winter days. I appreciate your correct in-depth review, thank you.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

..powerful stream of conscious thoughts. I slightly absorb them, but I have not shared any of your experience. I would be more curious (that I am made of curiosity) but I can't justify the journey in any way.

Best wishes.

Thomas

.
.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

for reading my poem. especially since this is an area you are unfamiliar with. the poem is a memory of a learning experience from long, long ago. it is important that it shaped me and made me climb the rope ladder up to sanity. Since then I have gotten a degree in electronics, married an engineer and have a life worth living. thank you for your well wishes :)

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I've been there, done that. I have memories too. The ones of me sniffing stuff and THEN asking, "What was that?" I too, have given up all that stuff. I still smoke a little weed [when my COPD will permit] but all the other stuff is off the table. Yes, I've seen that same face in the mirror, and I applaud you and anyone else that has managed to stop that destructive behavior. You have made this piece a slice of reality, the title says it all, the minor reprieve and the knowledge that it is coming for you again today! I like the good, plain language, the connection with those of us who have made it back and those that we hope to save from the hell we went through. Thank you, ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I knew that you would understand, knowing the in's and out's of another life. for me, one of the few good things that came from that life was it produced some good poetry. another is the deeper understanding of people and myself. and last but not least, finding people of your strengths and wisdom. thank you Sir Gee!

*hugs, Cat
^

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Sir Gee blushing like a schoolboy! We send big hugs and well wishes to you and eddy! ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I think of you as the heart of Neo poet. you keep the beat going. looking forward to experiencing whatever you come up with next!

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.