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the cost of stupid

ever so gradually
old age comes
"a creeping"
silently,
the years accrue
as snow drifts
slowly
little pains and aches
come unbidden.
the heart breaks
for want of relief
from the agony
of time's
relentless march.
we find ourselves
slowing down
as we face
each new day.
treasured memories
are packed away
in folds of silk.
we become smarter
no longer rushing
head-long into battles
because it hurts
too much to be
stupid anymore.
we seek solace
in our music
of yesterday.
I'll remember
you, Bob Dylan,
until my life is through
you taught me
many lessons about
the cost of being stupid
as it becomes
the wisdom of age!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
with ageing I have learned to pick my battles. be honest, please. thanx, Cat
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

reconciling the "years recede like melting snow",
and "slowly little pains and aches coming unbidden".
I would think that it should be more like:

the years accrue as snow drifts
slowly,
little pains and aches...

Other than that, I really understand that the years slowly
creep up on you, and one day you look in the mirror of remembrance
and find that you are not as much as you once were, but more and less!
~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I think it reads better with your changes. and yes, we are better and worse. me, myself am glad for what I've gained ;)

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Perhaps the days of youth recede like melting snow? Anyway you pretty much nailed what getting old is like. Good to see you're still hanging around

it is great to hear from you, I am glad to see you hanging in there too. it doesn't seem like there many of us left. you yourself, added a world of thought and beauty to Neo. see the edits* that is what it was to begin with, lol. take good care of yourself!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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