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The Nascent and Cordial Rose Found Love
Fresh with ideas
Prudent with years
beyond her bloom of youth
Beautiful as nascent rose
she’s adorned with wisdom and grace
Enhanced with brashness
Sensitive with years
beyond his bloom of youth
Stunning as cordial rose
he’s adorned with empathy and charm
A nascent, cordial pair
Fresh, enhanced, discreet, complex, tangled with passion
Both beyond their bloom of youth
Beautiful, stunning as decorated duo rose
Together adorns wisdom, grace, empathy, and charm with their love
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
just playing with words here to see if i can make them flow with one though and meaning "new budding love"
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
United States
Favorite Poets
Billy Collins, Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson, Whitman, Jess Tapper
Comments
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-10-21 20:59
I know you don't like strong language,
but fuck me dead! This is poetry, very fine poetry. You have achieved your goal of making them flow and expressed the meaning beautifully.
Your use of rhyme is un-intrusive and clever, the structure very creative.
Those long lines are very effective to give the poem a unique voice.
Quite one of the finest poems of yours I have read.
[and I can see you have learned a lot from the rhyme workshop, smiles]
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Barbara Writes
Sat, 2011-10-22 02:29
thanks Jess
truly. the workshop has helped me a lot with my rhymes in way i never new existed.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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