Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Heaven is Now Here

Here
in this garden
is where I commune
with my God.
He is the earth beneath my fingernails,
the joy in my heart,
the squeals of my children
as they dance
in the dirt.

He is the face
of the flower
flourishing in my light.
The colour of sunset,
the darkness of night.

Here
in this home,
admist this mess
is where I worship
my Goddess.
She is the bubbles
in my babies bath,
the eggs, pickling in the jar
and the laughter
between a husband and a wife.

She is the anger
at bedtime,
the cries of frustration,
the up
and the down
in this little piece
of Heaven.

Here
in this bedroom
is where I become one
with my God,
in the peace of sleep
and the gentle hue
of lovemaking.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

YES Rosi :) that's just what I hoped to convey, thank you, much love xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

heaven is
was
and always will be
here and never was
is and will be
UPSTAIRS
BEYOND OUR REACH
ALL DWELLS HERE
not there.

loved

Loved, sorry if I stated the obvious :) there is only here and now, much love xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

like Xena said...you transported us to your home ...your garden...and heaven on earth....nicely done...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you raj :) happy it was successful, much love xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

one for motherhood. I was transported to your little garden and took a tour of your heavenly home. nothing I could find fault with. ~ Gee

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

:)) thank you Gee, much love xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

Heaven is what the heart holds dear.

Beautiful enfolding, Beki!

~A

Isn't it just? :) Thank you A, much love xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment

How beatiful is your heaven, and it's yours! you have painted a lovely picture here. The fact that the world tries to impose what heaven should be to us is just one persons perception. I feel that it is different for all of us. to me that's what makes this a good write. that you know your heaven beyond anyones idea.

I have one question, this is written in the first person, but in this line it made me feel as if someone else was writing this line while standing on the outside:
"and the laughter
between a husband and a wife." I did not feel the personal from the rest of the poem
Maybe it's just me.
Great write, kudos.
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Hi Eddie, thank you for your comment :) I can see what you mean about that line taking a step away, I can only suppose it's because I've only been married 18months and it's still such a glorious novelty :) I love using the words husband and wife ;) will give it some thought though, thanks again, much love xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.