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Bad Girls
Bad girls, bad girls
Whatcha gonna do, gonna do today
Steal a van from a friend
Break a car window
Bad girls, bad girls
Whatcha gonna do, gonna do today
Sell your phone for some dough
Gas up the van and go
Wreck in a blinding storm
Trying to get home
Bad girls, bad girls
Whatcha gonna do, gonna do today
Run away from the clatter
Leave the van in the canal
Hitch hike a ride with a traveler
Get home in time for a party
Bad girls, bad girls
Whatcha gonna do, gonna do today
Trick a man out of cash
Get money for some gas
Say you’ll meet him at his pad
Then go home and laugh
Bad girls, bad girls
Whatcha gonna do, gonna do today
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
One of daughters inspired this write when she told about her, her cousin and her friend wild trip trying to get home from her friends boyfriend house in a blinding storm speeding too fast for rain conditions.
I just shuck my head.
The song is "bad boys bad boys what you gonna do when they come for you"
i change the wording to fit my poem to "bad girls bad girls whatcha gonna do to day"
they always doing something :)
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
United States
Favorite Poets
Billy Collins, Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson, Whitman, Jess Tapper
Comments
weirdelf
Thu, 2011-06-16 11:13
Wow, it's a different speed and write from you
I love the pace, almost intoxicated by it. But I am a male.
Consider your intention. Was it to shame or perhaps a bit of envy for that wild youthfulness?
As it stands it is a beautiful, wild, amoral picture, the word bad becomes good.
This poem doesn't really stand alone, I see it as part of your body of work.
cheers,
Jess
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Barbara Writes
Thu, 2011-06-16 15:54
Hey Jess
i am not sure what your question is but, My intentions was never to shame anyone but to express the wildness of a group of girls having fun and would do almost anything to accomplished a goal. as for me i was reserved and never experience such wild fun or been around girls that were having wild fun. I'm not envy ,but is fascinated by it. so i wrote it in a poem.
there are some things i rather not experience, but would like to understand why some find it an amazing time in their youth.
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author commentEsker
Thu, 2011-06-16 13:41
Like the feel of this also
Its a good poem Gritty and well placed
I enjoyed this immensely!
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2011-06-16 15:50
Hey Ezker
Glad you enjoyed it. thanks for reading
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author commentintrovert
Mon, 2011-09-19 03:59
Lol I can imagine...Nyc one
Lol I can imagine...Nyc one
raj
Tue, 2011-09-20 00:53
Barbara
wild thoughts about bad girls expressed by a good girl :) I had fun reading this one...
raj (sublime_ocean)
lou
Wed, 2011-09-21 10:50
Hi
I like the theme of two girls on the rampage. But there there are two little things,the repeatition of 'bad girls, bad girls,' is very much like the lines from an old song, i don't know who sang it, but the lines said 'bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do'? Plus i think the second Stanza would sound better without the repeats the word van.
Apart from that, i think it is a very well written poem and i enjoyed it .
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Barbara Writes
Sat, 2011-09-24 02:38
hey Lou
thanks for reading and sharing you suggestions. i will make some changes.
the repetition of the words bad girls did come from the song bad boys. I will reread and see how i can rewrite van .
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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