Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
The Ocean
In the herd, I saw you
The silence, deafening truth
And the boat lies waiting
Still your arms are flailing
And in the sky, you are waiting….
What have I lost? An ocean.
Now I am drifting in pollution
In this sandbox of love….
What have I lost? An ocean.
And am I going through the motions,
In this lost art of love?
It keeps you in the saddle
It keeps you in the sky
You’ll sleep like a child
Knowing we are all wild
In this ocean of love
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
I am back?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Sparrow
Thu, 2015-12-17 19:21
Washing Tears
Loved the story and the flow, just a few things that needs attention, starting a line with AND is a non, where the and is usually redundant.
Nothing too much to edit, A good write..
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Esker
Sat, 2015-12-19 23:47
this poem worked for me
fave line....keeps U in the saddle...
thank U