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Rula's dactyl tetrameter (Bottom Line WS)
Time isn't a thing that we borrow, but
it is about how you live the tomorrow and
it is a life, an attempt that you go through so,
time is about what you thoroughly learn to do.
Time isn't a| thing that we| purchase or| bo-rrow, but
it is a-|bout how you| live the to|mo-rrow and
it is a|life, an a-|ttempt, that you| go through so,
time is a-|bout what you| tho-ro-ughly| learn-to do
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Fri, 2013-09-20 09:57
Rula
Can you use " joyously hold on to" as a last two words in your piece, these word splitting is really like splitting hairs, I cant say I enjoy it one bit.
"time is about what you joyously hold on to"
Take care Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Rula
Fri, 2013-09-20 11:51
I can't agree more
dear Ian. Spliting those words do split the hair.
I shall wait to see what other changes Wesley
would suggest or if he would let me go with
what I did.
I wonder where he is. Just hoping he's OK.
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wesley snow
Fri, 2013-09-27 23:22
Late but here.
Last line, last foot:
I am less concerned with the catalectic foot than I am with you accenting the first syllable on "pursue". Naturally pronounced "pursue" is accented on the second syllable. Otherwise the quatrain is Dactyl.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Rula
Mon, 2013-09-30 22:02
dactyle now?
100% :)
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