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CRUCIFIXIONS--updated
I’m sinking down
into myself
crashing into dark
and I wallow
in my own salvation
I am not pain. Not decay.
Not loss
I am more than my dying
and at each turning
there unfolds something
undiscovered
.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Dalton
Sat, 2012-07-14 20:41
Hi Geremia
I think you should either add to this poem or leave a footnote as to what you were trying to portray here. "I am more than dying" a little twist in the tail there. I like it but I'm greedy I want more brother.
John
Geremia
Sat, 2012-07-14 21:55
Will do,John, Thanks.
Will do,John, Thanks.
judyanne
Sat, 2012-07-14 22:52
awesome joe
just awesome - yes, we are more than what we leave behind here.
'wallow in my own salvation... am more than my dying' - what great word usage throughout this write
this i think is one of the best i've seen from you
love judy
xxxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Ian.T
Sun, 2012-07-15 03:24
Joe
I’m sinking down into myself:-
In there you will find a beautiful Spirit that is you
And wallow in my own salvation,:-
Your strict beliefs will eventually take you where you have to go
I am not pain.:-
Pain or lack of pain can torment even the strongest of Spirits.
Not decay. Not loss:-
That you are whole and not sick yet leaving is harder to bear than an illness this needs more strength..
I am more than my dying:-
Joe you are much more than your dying, the accumulation of all you have given in your days here will shine brighter than a new star..
You are in our thoughts always, Yours Ian.T , Anne and Friends
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
judyanne
Sun, 2012-07-15 05:11
i really preferred
'salvation' to 'crucifixion' = you could make the title 'crucifixion' and keep 'salvation' in the poem....
:(
xx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Geremia
Sun, 2012-07-15 05:39
yes. thanks
yes. thanks