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First Flower/Imagery Workshop.
Kinesthetic/ First flower.
See how snow edged woods
display such white array of dazzling carpets,
wide, beneath the taller bare twigged trees
they spread their happy bells,
full dresses for the ball,
the grand explosive dance of spring
revolving in a waltz,
to turn the minds of birds and beasts
upside down, downside up,
round and round the round about of growth,
that rises, slowly rises up to light.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
Debra Bryant
Mon, 2012-03-12 16:10
Well done Ann,
I like this, especially the lines;
"they spread their happy bells,
full dresses for the ball,
the grand explosive dance of spring
revolving in a waltz",
It demonstrates the imagery of movement very well indeed.
Deb
Nordic cloud
Mon, 2012-03-12 16:26
OOO I found the idea of
OOO I found the idea of Kinesthetic hard to understand and hoped I had nailed it, but hae-me-doots.
I had written a whole mass on different imagery ?? Labels and gleaned this out of a much longer piece, You know what flower it is, yes?
Thank you Deb, you encourage me, I haven't thought about what sort of images I use before, they come where they seem to fit automatically, but I suppose we had best be good and consistent.
Have you done one yet? Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
China Blue
Tue, 2012-03-13 03:22
Ann
motion all through this poem
first spreading
then the round and round I'm still dizzy from spinning lol
well done
what is the flower now you have me curious
Chrys
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
loved
Tue, 2012-03-13 05:57
I too could visualize the imagery
I too could visualize
the imagery
under snow clad
nude trees
little Cinderellas
a-la-la romping
in the wind chill
hoping to be in
loved
Debra Bryant
Tue, 2012-03-13 10:16
Daffodils I think
I would guess Daffodills but that is only because they are first to arrive here with "full bells" as in "dresses for a ball". Still love your imagery!
Deb
Nordic cloud
Tue, 2012-03-13 13:50
Where are you, that they are
Where are you, that they are the first flowers?
They come at Easter for us in GB, but in May in Norway,
but then the climate changes now and is warmer,
the flowers go beserk, in N. its the coltsfoot on the acid earth,
that shares its nourishment with conifers.,
which here grow on granite glacial slabs.
Their dresses are not full blown like the daffodil,
they are more shaped ballet dresses,
with pointed uneven hems, quite modern in fact.
You in GB know which one's I mean, there
beside the snow. :) Ann
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Debra Bryant
Tue, 2012-03-13 19:23
Eastern Kentucky, USA
Curiouser and curiourser! Colts foot, not sure I know what that is?
Deb
Nordic cloud
Wed, 2012-03-14 03:56
Coltsfooting
If you look up coltsfoot on the computer you will see that it is a little bright yellow sun, its petals fanning out from the button-like centre, where so many mini flower-lets make a cushion, its stem, (I have written a poem on this flower somewhere here) is very sturdy,green to purple in colour, the scales(!) round each other as the pillar of them climbs, they have tiny hairs to keep them warm in the snowy places they grow, they like acid soil and grow a gre deal on rubbish dumps and all the places other flowers shun, making them little reminders of nature in the hustle and bustle of city life, making the hurrying passer by smile a moment. Norwegian children come running in in late February, early March shouting "I have found the first flower!" And that is it.
Here it is:-
"THE COLTSFOOT"
Margaret Ann Waddicor 20th May 2011.
Coltsfoot flowered
your sun once bright
lighting up by day
at night closed tight
now white
your filigree fingers soft
like bottle brush slices
in a ring
of silvered tendrils
ravishing the wind
your wizened yellow petals cling one side
until a freak breeze stirs the trees
and carries all your pride
far and wide to places new
to plant your seed
while leaves
ten times as big grow tall
in Summer, Fall,
after all you're
belle of the ball
first footing in the snow
a stem of interlocking layers
so strong
with hairs to keep you warm
no man will do you harm
you stalwart little flower
a weed
the sunshine in our hour of need.
Love to you nordic cloud.
That isn't my flower here! :)
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Debra Bryant
Wed, 2012-03-14 09:58
Sounds like a sturdy little
Sounds like a sturdy little flower...must be to bloom in the places you describe. Your poem helps me picture it very well. Very pretty.
Deb
Nordic cloud
Wed, 2012-03-14 13:14
Not that one
You didn't get it right Deb, it the snowdrop,
the one without the doubled petals that is not the wild original one.
It has four petals hanging down the central daffodil-like trumpet
edged with green, all at an angle to the ground like bells,
and also belles!
But the coltsfoot is charming too.
Ann
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
scribbler
Tue, 2012-03-13 21:45
Hi Ann
Very subtle use of kinetic, I would have been sorely tempted to include the flower swaying in a wind and quivering beneath a spring shower's raindrops. But this is much less in your face than most of my stuff. Please let a few more comments gather and then start thinking about whether you want to edit using kinetic or an imagery type of your own choosing........stan PS first flower here is yellow daffodil
Nordic cloud
Wed, 2012-03-14 13:55
By edit here do you mean
By edit here do you mean rewrite it as it is,
or write another poem on the same theme using the same imagery making it even more explicit,
or writing another poem using a different imagery? Not quite with it!
Nordic cloud.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
scribbler
Wed, 2012-03-14 22:38
Hi
The choice is your whether to edit and stay with same imagery or to pretty much rewrite using as many types as you please. One choice will result in honing skills in one imagery and the other choice will give a chance to accent one imagery with others...........stan
Nordic cloud
Wed, 2012-03-14 14:11
wandering in woods
wandering in woods
dancing under the trees
first flower
snow melting
the drips falling one by one
look a snowdrop
Revolving, evolving
this earth its changing coat
a flower
Just having fun stan! Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2012-03-14 22:24
revolving evolving.
Flower beautiful imagery in motion
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
scribbler
Thu, 2012-03-15 20:24
Hello
This poem is a near perfect example of the type imagery used being almost entirely dependent of how the reader interprets the lines.........stan
Candlewitch
Sun, 2012-03-18 14:10
Dear Ann,
You take my breath away! Kenetic is very difficult. I also see visual imagery mixed in. I loved these lines:
they spread their happy bells,
full dresses for the ball,
the grand explosive dance of spring
revolving in a waltz,
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2012-03-18 15:24
Shall we dance together to
Shall we dance together to celebrate the spring,
its not here yet
but the flowers have come from other parts of the world
to remind me of the species crocus that flowered in late February,
egg yellow inside and a russet brown outside,
more pointed petals and 3-4 flowers per bulb,
I loved them, I miss my garden in Devonshire.
All weathers, my old Gabardine mackintosh
with a piece of string round the waist,
buttons had gone long ago, I was out weeding,
as in Devonshire the weeds were rank,
but I always left any thing I didn't recognise
and sometimes it turned out to have a beautiful flower.
Ann
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.