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Touch of Grief
Felt by someone so distant
Australia to California,
Must be like silken threads
Stretched across the oceans
Like invisible ones
Carrying a deep lamentation
A love of passion in a communion,
Unknown to any
The loss as was so obvious
Perhaps to whom it mattered
There was no indication.
Take glory in the fact
That you can weave such lovely poetry
Ah!
How I wish
I could also
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
loved
Wed, 2011-08-24 10:38
thanks
this was a comment
on someones poetry i read here
yesterday
loved
author commentweirdelf
Fri, 2011-08-26 05:01
I love this, beautifully written
and a universal concept.
Only one suggestion and a query.
Leave "poetic" out of the title, it is poetic anyway and it limits your audience by addressing only poets.
Aslo I wonder about the line
Perhaps the mom indication was absent
mom as in mother? How does that fit in? Is it necessary?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Fri, 2011-08-26 08:29
thanks
shall...
loved
author commentweirdelf
Sat, 2011-08-27 23:15
You know I often visit you works
The ones you sholdn't post or work on them first and then maybe post are your strengths. Trust us, even, you have monents of brilliance like most of us.
I ask you. Have you been doing a course or something?
Whatever. I have asked and asked again, that you post real, honest feedback.
A response in the form of verse is seldom uselful.
You can express your truth in plain english. Please do it for the honest and integrity of all of us on the site.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Fri, 2011-08-26 10:13
I don't mean to hurt anyone here Sir.
All my life I have composed
Through the darkness of the eerie nights,
When the mind is free
Without any inhibitions
And
When I read some ones poetry
I get my own vision
And
Compose that's all.
If you don’t like me
At least I thank thee,
For seeing the ray,
Nay streak of brilliance
That you do say,
Comes once amongst a billion rays
Many dawns have lapsed,
My lonely pathway
That’s about all what I can say
Have your happy day
As always my POETIC master
You will for ever stay…
loved
author commentweirdelf
Fri, 2011-08-26 14:16
you did it again
poems give no useful feedback. Talk plain english
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Fri, 2011-08-26 18:49
ok
shall
loved
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