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The Red Gum
In the heady, bloody diffusion
of iridescent, sinking afternoon sun,
the solid, thick chest of the red gum,
with its multitude of long gnarled arms
stretched in an arthritic attempt to touch eternity,
ever so slowly turns various shades
of convivial rosy-brown,
until,
catching the final rays of Sol's dying white,
they strike a splash of caramel-golden light,
to paint the worn, tired, pale canvas behind,
its colour used up in the day's heat of history creation,
hues of shining ochre,
reflecting an indeterminable luminescence,
as amber with the light of spirit
extols her house's portrait,
before
the one-thing-after-another-time brings
deep azures and gentle violets,
comforting night,
to slowly dim the glowing gold
into muted greys,
calming into
sleepy ebony black.
It stirs an ineffable emotion
of peace, love, beauty
and thankfulness,
and I sense that all is as should be
in the time where it occurred as one
and is happening over again,
and again....
Comments
raj
Sun, 2011-05-08 14:21
Dearest Judyanne..
welcome back...you were missed...hope all is well ..as always good to read your write which is also a learning experience for amateurs like me...
much love..be well...
raj (sublime_ocean)
judyanne
Mon, 2011-05-09 03:33
raj
you are too kind about my writes
thanks for the supportive comment
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
judyanne
Mon, 2011-05-09 03:34
shirley shirley
thank you very much
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Psyve
Sun, 2011-05-08 14:34
Judyanne
Quite a vivid description you have created of the riot of colors and how they change as the sun sets in the backdrop of the old gum tree.
I like the way one finally sees only a black silhouette of the tree... bereft of color against the late evening sky.
Nicely done.
Very nicely done.
Psyve.
P.S. For some reason, the words "Gum Tree" in your poem reminded me of a "round" we learned to sing as children:
Kukuburrah sits on the old gum tre-ee
Merry, merry king of the bush is he-ee
Laugh, Kukuburrah laugh,
Kukuburrah, gay your life must be (..2...3...4...)
judyanne
Mon, 2011-05-09 03:36
thanks psyve
lol - i learnt that song at school too
you made me smile with you (...2...3...4...) - took me all the way back to my desk in grade 1 :)
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Bonitaj
Sun, 2011-05-08 15:05
Gosh Judy!
This is a splendid reminder that our seasons are ever changing and a good depiction of an oncoming Autumn! Enjoyed it a lot!
Boni
Bonitaj
judyanne
Mon, 2011-05-09 03:37
hi boni
thanks very much for the great comment
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
scribbler
Sun, 2011-05-08 19:52
hello
What a wonderfully descriptive poem of how nature can effect mood and mood can effect how nature is interpreted. I have a few alternatives you can consider if you want to :
L-5 change stretched to stretches to match turns in next line
I would move L-13 to beginning of S-3
I would also delete last 3 lines
I would also tell stan to kiss off lol.........................scribbler
judyanne
Mon, 2011-05-09 03:43
thanks scribbler
i will think about those suggestions...
but the 'hues of ochre' are what are painting the canvas, even though they reflect.... i still think the line belongs where it is....
and the branches of the gum are always stretched, while the colours are constantly changing....
why don't you like the last three lines? - they are supposedly the point of my write..... doesn't it work for you?
finally - i would never tell you to kiss off...i really appreciate knowing what has not worked for you :)
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
scribbler
Mon, 2011-05-09 08:53
hi
These are all alternatives for you to consider and I am never offended by any not being used. As to the last 3 lines(should it be THREE lines?lol) , I liked them .but it just seemed to me that the poem had reached its natural end before them. Just one beginners opinion..........stan
judyanne
Mon, 2011-05-09 09:11
nor sure stan
hopefully someone else may give their opinion :)
thanks for the great review
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
mand
Mon, 2011-05-09 10:06
Hi Judyanne
I agree with Raj. Fabulous write.
Love Mand xxxxxxx
judyanne
Mon, 2011-05-09 11:24
thanks mand
so very much for that supportive comment
love and hugs
judy
xxxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
judyanne
Tue, 2011-05-10 06:04
thanks mand
your are always so supportive
love you
judy
xxxxxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
judyanne
Tue, 2011-05-10 06:07
lol
thanks rosi
it's nice to be back and see you all
- especially you
i won't have much time for reviewing, but i'll visit as often as i can
xx
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2011-05-09 19:30
judy
I love the way you used the kaleidoscope of colors. Which reflect the changing of everyday life,
just like life repeats itself.
Yes, it is how it should be.
A wonder of a write.
Eddie C.
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
judyanne
Tue, 2011-05-10 06:08
thanks so much eddie
for that very supportive comment
love judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
judyanne
Tue, 2011-05-10 06:11
hey ss
thanks for that lovely comment
- missed you too
love and hugs
judy
xxxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Nordic cloud
Mon, 2011-05-16 13:32
"slowly turns various shades"
"slowly turns various shades" ...perhaps logically 'turning'.
" of history creation," ...when the rest is clear I don't understand this.
" her house's portrait,".. a little clumsy.
I somersault upright and upside down in this last verse, I am slightly out of balance in understanding it.
I have already seen this one long ago haven't I judyanne?
So leave it like that, a ruddy(old sense) poem and thos gum trees are very decorative on their barks, and can truly be red can't they?
Love to you from annanya.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.