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What life means to me
My year's of happiness
That my mother and father gave.
It was married to the sadness
When both of them passed away.
My life continues with their love I saved
but the kiss of a girl
was my youth forever changed.
I'm older now years of happiness
simplified in each and every way
Because my girlfriend is my family
That I had prayed
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Wed, 2022-08-31 06:19
Welcome back!...
So glad to see you writing again. I think I would like to see you expand on the part about the girlfriend and how her love has helped you get over your parents' death. The last line seems kind of short and doesn't feel like it makes a connection. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Trouble
Wed, 2022-08-31 20:09
Life
Hey hey Geezer yes I agree so it's still a work in progress I truly intend to add move I was only trying to get it started and recorded
Geezer
Wed, 2022-08-31 23:24
Two thumbs up...
keep it going! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.