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Tyrant
Time is no friend of mine
It strips me away, piece by piece
Stones and mountains know this
They have seen so much
I escape time in my thoughts
where it no longer mercilessly rules
There, I can be with all of those who’ve left me here
I can never clearly hear
exactly what we talk about,
but they are always smiling
I remember this about them the most
When I walk among them
in the mists of my mind,
they are never there long enough to hold
but their kindness and love
always accompany me while I am there
As long as I have my kingdom of memories
the relentless seconds and years,
with their covetous ways,
cannot take away all that they want
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Time can be a ruthless bitch! Trying to capture the way I often think of those I've lost over the years.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2021-05-12 12:29
dear Michael,
time is the worst tyrant I know of...she holds us captive by our memories of other times. your title is aptly given to this poem! I don't know anyone that time has been good to...it is almost criminal... you know that old saying, "Killing Time"? too bad...it just won't curl up and die! excellent poem and subject matter!
*hugs, Cat
*
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And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-05-14 09:43
So true CW. Thanks for your
So true CW. Thanks for your comments, and glad you liked this one.
Best
Michael Anthony
Geezer
Wed, 2021-05-12 20:10
Yes...
Time is ruthless! Almost as though Death and time are siblings! I like the theme; the story of how one can lose themselves in memories and forget time for a while. It makes for an interesting story. ~ Geez.
.
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Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-05-14 09:46
Thanks Geez! Pretty sure they
Thanks Geez! Pretty sure they are siblings - I like that thought!
Best
Michael Anthony
scribbler
Wed, 2021-05-12 23:11
Time.......
It is SO relevant. As we pass through it it seems to grind slowly past. But upon looking back it seems to have flown. And you are correct in that it steals those we love from us. In case you haven't guess i really like this poem
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-05-14 09:49
Thanks Teach! When I was 25 I
Thanks Teach! When I was 25 I remember thinking about all the time I would likely have. In my sixties now, I smile at my foolishness then.
Best
Michael Anthony
cathy mccormick
Thu, 2021-05-13 13:51
i like this a lot. i would
i like this a lot. i would say it strips me away rather than you in keeping with the rest.
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-05-14 09:42
Thanks for the visit Cathy! I
Thanks for the visit Cathy! I agree with your comment, and will add the change - appreciate that!
Best
Michael Anthony