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Cogito Ergo Sum - December contest
Or maybe I'm not
It has been a life-long quest
To see where I belong
Find my purpose
Accepted nowhere
Jocks hated me cos I was smart
Geeks hated me cos I was a jock
20 years later, same
Enthusiasts hate me cos I'm quiet
Extros hate me cos I'm an intro
Back to the beginning
What is my purpose?
Have I found it?
I have not
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
weirdelf
Mon, 2019-12-23 05:16
Jess, is that you, my friend?
Or another of the eldritch fold joined Neopoet?
This sounds very unlike you, the you that once proclaimed to me "I'm proud to be a redneck".
And I thought that in Christ you had found your purpose.
Clear up this identity crisis [grins] and I can give you better critique.
For now this is lacking in prosodic values. Sure it has the Prime Directive of poetry- compression of meaning but otherwise-
Cogito Ergo Sum, Or maybe I'm not, It has been a life-long quest, To see where I belong, Find my purpose . Accepted nowhere, Jocks hated me cos I was smart, Geeks hated me cos I was a jock . 20 years later, same, Enthusiasts hate me cos I'm quiet, Extros hate me cos I'm an intro. Back to the beginning, What is my purpose?, Have I found it?, I have not. .
See what I mean? Poetic prose. As to the rest, you know I totally relate! [grins]
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
infinite_dwarf
Tue, 2019-12-24 16:40
Tis I!
Every word is true, mate. Still am a Christian, but have no idea what He's got in store for me. Everyone has their part to play. I'm still waiting to be casted, I suppose.
weirdelf
Mon, 2019-12-23 05:22
oo oo, I've got to tell you this joke-
A horse walks into a bar and orders a double scotch. The barman says,
"You've been drinking a lot lately, do you think you might be an alcoholic?"
The horse replies,
"I don't think I am" and disappears.
You get it? It's based on the French philosopher, Descarte's epigram 'I think therefore I am' but if I had explained that first it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry