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DAY'S LAST THOUGHTS
I slowly close my eyes and stare
at the backside of just one eye lid
searching for what might be there
hidden deep within my Id.
But that part of me will not be seen;
who knows, it might be best that way,
better that I never glean
that darkness hidden past the gray.
So I sigh, start thinking quantumly.
Is reality there just if it's seen?
Seen by who? By you, by me?
Do we each perceive our private screen?
With a wink I check, the world's still there,
then close my weary eyes once more
and drift to a familiar place elsewhere
whose door cracks open with my snore.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Wed, 2015-03-04 13:21
Stan
a nice mix of serious and humorous thought you have strung together in this one.
I liked the theme of one thinking in solitude in the silence of the night except the tick tock of the clock.
In fact in my maiden attempt at Pastoral which didn't catch much attention which is why I unpublished it yesterday, one of the stanzas had a similar thought...
it is always a good experience to read your poems which have an element of innovation...I liked this one too...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Wed, 2015-03-04 17:04
Raj
After so much pastoral and way too much on sonnets I had to purge myself with something which is likely neither lol. Glad you liked it and thanks for dropping by......stan
Sparrow
Wed, 2015-03-04 19:01
Stan
A usual fun write, and made me smile I need this medicine each day, lest I fall foul of Winters grip.
What's this I hear each morning clear.
It's the morning chorus to grace my ear.
Between Feb and June each year.
Spring is Nye this Sparrow must fly.
To Spain for a few days to gain plumage fine,
I shall return on a bad day in March
Friday the 13th I shall return.
As the skies will be empty
From those that know
Fuel we will burn,
No fear of the Ides.
Have a great day out there,
Yours, Sparrow..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
scribbler
Wed, 2015-03-04 23:33
Let your wings spread wide
But don't talk too badly of March for there is at least one poet here who was found under a rock on a March day........stan
Sparrow
Thu, 2015-03-05 11:49
Stan
Thanks, there's a sparrow that was found also in march so many years ago, during a great war..
Mine is the 26th of march 1942 seems just like yesterday lol,
Talk to you on my return am off to roost now, Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
scribbler
Thu, 2015-03-05 13:46
Mine
is March 11, 1954........but that is only hearsay as I don't really recall the event lol
judyanne
Fri, 2015-03-06 07:55
March
is obviously an awesome month
I hear tell, on very good authority, that I was born on the 10th March, 1951
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
scribbler
Fri, 2015-03-06 11:13
crap!
Now I'll have to start calling you ma'm and being respectful due to your being so much older lol
judyanne
Fri, 2015-03-06 11:27
why do you think
I told you lol
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Sparrow
Fri, 2015-03-06 18:53
Stan
A mere child of the Earth is our Judy,
Take care both, age is just a number.
It is given to those that fear themselves.
Love to you both and those that walk with you,
Yours Ian. x
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
scribbler
Fri, 2015-03-06 22:44
Age
might be just a number but after a while the weight of all those numbers become noticeable. (Plus it's fun teasing Judy for being almost THREE whole years older than me)
judyanne
Fri, 2015-03-06 22:51
i'm the boss
'cos i'm older than you Stan, that's all there is to say about that
anyway, i have been told on the best authority (mine) that i look at least three whole years younger than you
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
scribbler
Fri, 2015-03-06 23:01
I expect so
But if one goes by looks alone , I look like I'm older than dirt but still look better than most 10 year old corpses lol. One reason I have no picture posted is I don't want to scare off young people and dry up everybody's muse lol.
And don't worry about bossing me around. Susan's been doing that for years and she's actually 4 months younger that I am.......ma'm
Sparrow
Sat, 2015-03-07 03:59
Stan
Age
Another excuse for being dumb
Great for being treated, especially a mum
Everyone will enjoy this position one day.
I wish
I wish more people would have their say,
Where have all our poets gone, long time passing.
It is not hard to say a little piece about a poem
Surely they would want to be treated the same
Hope is a negative thing, I told you so!
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
judyanne
Thu, 2015-03-05 21:57
lol
Love it
Good smooth rhythm and rhyme, and a fun read
Love the final verse
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
scribbler
Fri, 2015-03-06 11:16
Thank you ma'm
I am pleased you enjoyed this quick scribble and shocked that the meter is at least OK.
sincerely.
stan
judyanne
Fri, 2015-03-06 11:29
your lessons
are paying off
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
scribbler
Fri, 2015-03-06 14:11
By
beating one's head against his/her weaknesses it's hoped that one gets better. But I doubt I'll ever be any good at sonnets lol
emeka ozurumba
Fri, 2015-03-06 05:22
good piece of poetry
very lovely flow of rhythm
scribbler
Fri, 2015-03-06 11:17
Hi emeka
Thanks. It's always good to see you've dropped by.........stan
wesley snow
Sun, 2015-03-08 16:36
You don't need my comments.
Just dropping by.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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scribbler
Sun, 2015-03-08 17:55
Whether I need them or not
I appreciate your dropping by......stan