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HAPPINESS!!
I would have married happiness
if happiness was a man
and cuffed its hands-
if a thief - to mine,
I would have caught it-
an infectious malady,
for that would gurantee
dying blithely :)
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Tue, 2015-02-10 13:01
Hi Rula
Happiness. That ephemeral thing which just shows itself in flashes. But those flashes are so wonderful that we all seek the impossible : permanent happiness. But you said this much better lol.....stan
Rula
Tue, 2015-02-10 13:18
What you said Stan
It would be unfair to say I am not happy, at least I am satisfied and I believe satisfaction is happiness, but we are again, as you said, greedy for more.
Thank you for your invaluable visit.
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raj
Tue, 2015-02-10 13:26
Rula
I must say you are every bit a woman the way you go on quizzing..quizzing and quizzing before one can figure out somewhat what you mean...compelling to quiz again again and agan till one figures out what happiness is all about...you know what i mean? ...lol..
still smiling,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Tue, 2015-02-10 15:31
Raj
Is that something good? I mean the quizzing, quizzing and quizzing bit till you know what I wanted? :)
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raj
Tue, 2015-02-10 13:36
Rula
yes...it was definitely quizically creative i would say :) i may share a story I am reminded of .,,,our company's ex chairman who passed away in 2006 used to say..."even if you spend a lifetime learning water chemistry you will never know enough"...
now just replace the words "water chemistry" with "woman"...perhaps that would explain what i mean...:)
smiling still,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Tue, 2015-02-10 13:43
Oh yes,
I got what you wanted raj.
Thanks for your wonderful interaction. I really really appreciate it.
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raj
Tue, 2015-02-10 13:55
Rula
Stay happy.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Wed, 2015-02-11 12:43
Thank you
raj. Same to you.
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mand
Wed, 2015-02-11 07:48
Hi Rula
You write profound and thought provoking poetry - happiness is certainly something we all seek, we would indeed like to catch it and cuff it, so we can keep it for always. :)
Thanks for sharing Rula!
Love Mand xxx
Rula
Wed, 2015-02-11 12:44
Thank you Mand
I am really happy to know you've enjoyed this one.
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alidzain
Wed, 2015-02-11 04:51
Salam, Rula
You sure have a way with words, sis. You want happiness, I want peace I've been told they are actually the same thing.
Alid
Rula
Wed, 2015-02-11 12:46
Salam Khalid
Peace is happiness indeed. I hope you catch it soon brother.
Take care.
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China Blue
Fri, 2015-02-13 20:39
Rula
You caught me with your first two lines
the only suggestion I have is to use "that is"
not a contraction
would have liked to see more on this as well
but sometimes less is better
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
Rula
Tue, 2015-02-17 01:37
Thank you Chrys
for the visit and the suggestion.
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lovedly
Mon, 2015-02-16 23:10
Happiness is a virus
Happiness like a virus
comes and goes
how it comes and where it goes
no one yet knows
billions of dollars
down the drain go
but still scientists doctors
do not yet know
how come cold cures in a week
with medicine
and in seven days
it goes without
Rula
Tue, 2015-02-17 01:38
Thank you loved. I am happy
Thank you loved. I am happy to know this is of some inspiration.
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lovedly
Tue, 2015-02-17 10:32
thankx
you always are
wesley snow
Tue, 2015-02-17 13:27
I am the ruthless commentary.
It is a very cute poem, but not up to your usual standards. Don't misunderstand me... there is nothing wrong with writing a simplistic poem.
Perhaps I am too spoiled. When I go to read Rula I know I'm in for a "sophisticated" poem. Complex in its form (verso libre included) and subject in its subject matter.
The only reason I rather like it is that it reminds me of those years when all you wrote were dictums of happiness devoid of form. You have blossomed into such a spectacular poet. Perhaps I think too much as your mentor when you don't need me in that way.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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Rula
Wed, 2015-02-18 00:25
You're right about this one sir!
sometimes "old Rula" urges me to write such simple pieces. Then I can't resist. The sooner it is finished, I feel like I want to share it, no matter what.
And I will be lying if I say I have ever stopped thinking of you as a mentor.
Keep being ruthless, please. :)
Thank you!
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raj
Tue, 2015-02-17 14:03
Rula
do you think "has" would be more appropriate than "is" in the concluding line?
Wesley has spoken highly about your evolving into a fine poet over the years, I have been privileged to witness that journey to some extent if not all the way and wish you success and continual improvement. In all good artists I have noticed a basic virtue which is "humility" ..you have it for sure...
You are setting sort of a bench mark for amateurs like me,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Wed, 2015-02-18 00:31
Raj!!
Thanks for the heads up and for the nice words too. I am hoping to be up to your expectations and Wesley's.
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wesley snow
Wed, 2015-02-18 15:46
"Been" is past tense.
She requires "has" which can be used as past tense.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Sparrow
Wed, 2015-02-18 04:15
Rula
A lovely write, but as long as you are happy doesn't mean that you have to stop looking at other things or people.
I passed many people that were really beautiful in my life, and am so glad that they are there , I know it doesn't make choices easy, but it is a singular experience, and I hope that it never ceases.
I would miss those smiles and thoughts sent out,
Yours Ian
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Rula
Wed, 2015-02-18 14:54
Hello Ian
and many thanks for your wonderful visit. I always like to look around to see both the good and the bad and line this up with my pen.
Best regards. Be well.
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wesley snow
Wed, 2015-02-18 15:55
Stan and I remember.
Maybe a few others.
Once Rula was like a child. Full of nothing but happy thoughts and she said them anyway that she wanted to.
Sometimes she was hard to understand, but the colors and pretty pictures she brought along made you smile anyway.
I never missed my Rula fix.
But then something happened. She fell into a dangerous crowd who spoke in strange, measured ways as though they were speaking songs.
And she listened to them. She deciphered what the weird metric sounds meant and opened the magic they held.
Magic worthy only of a wizard such as her.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Rula
Thu, 2015-02-19 15:44
I'm really
not sure what I'm supposed to say. I am speechless .... (((still blushing)))
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judyanne
Thu, 2015-02-19 12:25
i really like this Rula
and thought that I had already commented. I often tend to catch up on reading the site when at work, on my breaks, with my phone. It is awkward to write on, so I usually remind myself to come back to comment when I get to my tablet or computer. Seems I forgot to come back to this.
I really think you should lose the last two lines. They spoil it (for me at least) especially the rhyme - it seems forced, and the lines are also introducing a new concept that I feel is superfluous
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Rula
Thu, 2015-02-19 13:29
thank you Judy
No problem dear. I always appreciate your visit and the suggestions, but for this one, don't you think if I trimmed the two lines, it will look like it's a cut, unfinished work?
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judyanne
Thu, 2015-02-19 13:31
no, I truly don't
But it is your write :)
Love xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Rula
Thu, 2015-02-19 15:41
Let me
think if I can get a better ending. I am still not sure about dropping the ending without anything to add.
Thank you dear anyway.
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judyanne
Fri, 2015-02-20 10:25
oh yes
You nailed it girlfriend
but i would drop the 'if' before 'an infectious malady'
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Rula
Fri, 2015-02-20 10:24
Thank you
so much dear.
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