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phaded roze
working
in the midst
our time
has shown
and charred
the scars
admired
and sown
by the suns
grasp
in the gapes
of the beds
where fall
was startled
the strands
were ruined
dotting
the dark
we claimed
we drove
the ghosts
and like
a driver
the winds
evaporated
everything
the beauty
an illusion
and winter
will sing
the thorns
i feel most
The Love
of nothing
Editing stage:
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Comments
emeka ozurumba
Thu, 2014-10-09 04:29
esker awesome
and now young bard if you keep writing like this you will tresspass where john kits has, for your imagery is very sublime, i rily loved this piece, my brother well done
weirdelf
Thu, 2014-10-09 19:52
classic Esker
I can only pay homage by offering my reading of it.
https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/phaded-roze-by-esker
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Esker
Tue, 2014-10-21 00:07
critical peice...
the author..which may be me..expresses the missing
suns not shinning..warm..hot...good..
it grasps..
It hurts my eyes....I have no focal depth
see much....feel much
and work hard at feeling nothing
the thorns stick in
but what are they
Love sticks it to you
at times
people give you their
everything
the petals are fleeting
the importance is the
vine..the thorn that
sustains
maintains the plants
precious magic
from the ungulates
driving ghosts...
like waking up in a fury
or chasing
an elusive
something
from another
Its liike a carnival
like a magic thing
the sleuth of it
hearts...
an interesting subject
and roses....
Thank You!
weirdelf
Tue, 2014-10-21 03:58
yeah, ok, so you can write poetry as responses.
It used to be all you did and as such you were a worthless member of Neopoet, except for your great value as a highly talented poet. Your refusal to give critical response was arrogant egotism. Lately your responses have been honourable, actually engaging with the original text.
Did you like the reading? The library could provide earphones.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Esker
Tue, 2014-10-21 23:03
Egotishm...Arrogence...
Worthless....barely!
an orchestra must tune all of its
intruments....the conductor
readies himself
I like your reading Immensely!
I am detracted from the library of late
and am donating time to writing more
Tweeting often and filling the words
and works on several other sites
and as often as I remember too..
writing small dispatches from my
notepad for my workmates at my
part time occupation as lab plaster
technician for the ortho techs..
The library does have earphones!
Thank You!
weirdelf
Tue, 2014-10-21 23:15
oh, you know my tendency to over-harshness
well enough to add a bag or two of salt by now.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Esker
Tue, 2014-10-21 23:29
cleave facets of brilliance by banging a diamond...
Overharshness..I like that....Im actually a tyrant in my own realms..!
Esker
Tue, 2014-10-21 23:11
Thank You Gemma!
Poetry exudes
like a line drawing we must color in
or pencil in or paint by number
(I know I hear groans)
and then the words to paint outside
and over those lines
the numbers becoming something
more and or less...the colours
adding and subtracting instead
a freedom from the morality of
principle other then the workshop
ethic....Like high school where we
travel round and add what we think
of the work in common as was my
art classes....I was thought to be
an idealist and egotist..
Your fathers nudges are an example
of skill awareness
poetry under fire is wonderful
but the more cautious forest at dusk
wandering I like
although both examples can create
amazing results
my ancient age
seeing much
its a story..
doesnt have to be happy
or joyful
or sad or emotive even
as long as it has a beginning
a middle and an end
a potrayal of imagery
seeing being seeing
Etaite
a wonderful word
that saved my sanity
a year ago around
this time of year
Actually to be honest
im merely recapping your
great comment!
in so few well spoken
words...
Thank You Gemma!
Esker
Wed, 2014-10-22 09:39
values and ideals...
somewhere in the no mans land...and still trying..
i know it may exist....
maybe i have to dig in and try harder..
thats the secret for looking...seeing and believing..