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You fade Desert Rose, as they cast you away
Close to the premise of hard lead and clay
The iron-clasp grip the Sun wields over rain
Chase for days, the dust on swollen skin, you decay

Petal by petal, you’re blown against sands
Through harshest of sources, you burrow each strand
Scraping with parched, shrivelled fingers, they cramp
Left moulded in place in this hell-scape-like land

Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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I got inspiration for this poem from a desert rose that bloomed in my front garden. Thank you for reading :)
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Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:


This poem, "Wilt," attempts to capture the imagery of a desert rose withering away in an unforgiving environment. While the concept is interesting, the execution falls short. The language is overly simplistic and lacks depth, with phrases like "hard lead and clay" feeling clunky and out of place. The rhyme scheme also feels forced, at times disrupting the flow of the poem.

One suggested line edit could be to replace "hard lead and clay" with a more evocative phrase that paints a clearer picture of the desert environment. For example, "Close to the premise of shifting sands and scorching heat" would better convey the harshness of the setting.

Overall, "Wilt" has potential but needs further development and refinement to truly capture the essence of a fading desert rose.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

Of a rose- much like us, we grow and develop until we reach full bloom and then rather quickly, we begin to fade, shrivel up and eventually die. New seeds in our place, over and over the cycle repeats. I thought your inspiration for this poem was great and it was very well done! Good job!


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