Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

White Room

I was in my white padded room
When a black cat walked by
I asked where he was going
Expecting a “meow” in reply

He said he was travelling
Asked if I would tag along
I said perhaps yes
It never felt so very wrong

We arrived pretty soon
And was eating many small delights
I knew what each one would bring
The labels were right
Time was passing
Perhaps seconds perhaps days
I was lost in my mind
It had become a hedge maze

the tea party was over
and In my state fell into some shards
of a broken teapot
and was taken by cards

but before I could bleed
I had already sweat a monsoon
Suddenly I was back, because I nearly forgot
About my white padded room

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Was she mad, abused, delusional, you?

This is one of the poems that keeps me coming back here in my poetry-overloaded state.
Superb.
No Crit.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.