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What Gets Me Through
What Gets Me Through
You, my irreverent Steven
get me through the day,
preparing me for the night
It has always been your way.
Sometimes the sunlit hours
take their toll on me.
The ugliness of news stories
get me down, make me want to flee.
That's where you come in,
you rescue me with a smile.
Your kindness runs deep,
I stop, basking for awhile.
When each new day starts
I open my eyes to see your face,
feel your loving heart near me.
In your love I find a higher grace!
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
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Not Explicit Content
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Northwestern Wisconsin USA
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Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
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Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2023-12-11 11:41
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "What Gets Me Through" is a heartfelt expression of gratitude and love. The narrative is clear and the emotional journey is well-structured. However, there are areas where the poem could be improved.
1. Imagery: The poem could benefit from more vivid and unique imagery. For instance, the line "The ugliness of news stories" is a bit vague. It might be more impactful to describe a specific news story or type of news story that brings the speaker down. This would make the emotional impact of the news more tangible for the reader.
2. Rhythm and Meter: The rhythm of the poem is somewhat inconsistent. Some lines have a clear rhythmic pattern, while others do not. This can make the poem feel disjointed. It might be helpful to read the poem out loud and listen for places where the rhythm stumbles.
3. Show, Don't Tell: The poem tells the reader about the speaker's feelings, but it could be more effective to show these feelings through actions, sensory details, or metaphors. For example, instead of saying "Your kindness runs deep," the poem could describe a specific act of kindness that demonstrates this depth.
4. Word Choice: Some of the word choices in the poem are a bit clichéd, such as "In your love I find a higher grace." Using more unique and unexpected language could make the poem more memorable and impactful.
5. Structure: The poem has a consistent structure, with four lines per stanza. However, the rhyme scheme varies from stanza to stanza. A more consistent rhyme scheme could help to unify the poem and make it more satisfying to read.
6. Theme: The theme of the poem is clear and relatable. However, it could be deepened or complicated by introducing some tension or conflict. For example, the speaker could acknowledge some difficulty or challenge in the relationship, which would make the expression of love and gratitude feel more earned and meaningful.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Sat, 2023-12-09 00:26
What a beautiful...
tribute to a wonderful man. The one who gets you through the day. Ilike everything about this poem. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Candlewitch
Sat, 2023-12-09 10:44
Dear Geezer,
Steven is really wonderful in his many kindnesses as he is nurturing, comforting and helpful. I have a hard time getting around in the house. I use my cane, and now he guides me through the house, holding my other hand. I think I must start using a walker soon. I even hate the idea of it! I have always been fiercely independent all my life. I know it is only pride, one of the seven deadly. I suppose falling on my face is not dignified, either, lol!
*love & hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentGeezer
Sat, 2023-12-09 11:32
I don't...
have such a bad time getting around, but I have to drag my oxygen hose through the house. My wife and anyone here, has to beware of it like they would a snake in the woods. It may not bite you, but it sure can trip you up if you are not careful. My wife uses a cane most of the time now, but I don't need one yet, only for anything over a hundred feet. I did have to get used to using one of those electric carts they have at the Walmart's or supermarket. I had a hard time getting used to it. I didn't want to be seen riding around by anyone I knew. But I got used to it by watching the little kids, and seeing how envious they are; watching me ride around the store.
I suppose that they feel like it is wasted on old people, who can't appreciate the fun of it. We do what we have to, to stay relevant. I'm glad that you were not badly hurt and hope that you stay somewhat mobile. ~ Love from me and the boys.
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Candlewitch
Sun, 2023-12-10 11:44
Dear Geezer,
& the Boys,
I am slightly at fault for these incidents. Partly because I was not paying attention. But, mostly because I over estimated my physical abilities. I do not do it often... (Once, should be enough!) Thank you for the read, comment and well wishes. All are appreciated greatly!
p.s.
I am really trying hard to use punctuation and capitalization. I may have a typo now and again. But it is unintentional.
*Love and Wishes, all good! Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentGeezer
Sun, 2023-12-10 12:30
My dearest Cat...
I did not mean that you should forever use the best punctuation and capitalizations. I only meant that you might use at least some in the piece. I shall always forgive the typos and I consider your work to be excellent and readable always. Do not strain yourself to make me happy. You, as the author, are the prime concern of any consideration. Be well, stay on your feet and I will consider that as my best gift from you. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Geezer
Sun, 2023-12-10 12:30
My dearest Cat...
I did not mean that you should forever use the best punctuation and capitalizations. I only meant that you might use at least some in the piece. I shall always forgive the typos and I consider your work to be excellent and readable always. Do not strain yourself to make me happy. You, as the author, are the prime concern of any consideration. Be well, stay on your feet and I will consider that as my best gift from you. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Candlewitch
Sun, 2023-12-10 12:37
Dear Geezer...
I am glad you do not expect punctuation perfection on every poem...especially from eddy styx! He seems to have his own set of odd ball rules for poetry, LOL!
*love yas, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2023-12-10 11:48
Dear Geezer,
& the Boys,
I am slightly at fault for these incidents. Partly because I was not paying attention. But, mostly because I over estimated my physical abilities. I do not do it often... (Once, should be enough!) Thank you for the read, comment and well wishes. All are appreciated greatly!
Using a can is a good idea for me. I am sympathetic to your problems with the oxygen container it is bulky and clumsey.
p.s.
I am really trying hard to use punctuation and capitalization. I may have a typo now and again. But it is unintentional.
*Love and Wishes, all good! Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentRuby Lord
Sat, 2023-12-09 05:54
This was lovely, heartfelt
This was lovely, heartfelt and deeply meaningful. Congratulations on your wonderful relationship, this was a pleasure to read. Ruby :) xxx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Candlewitch
Sun, 2023-12-10 11:55
Dear Ruby,
Thank you for the read and comment! Steven is my Touchstone. I tell him I appreciate him everyday. He knows!
*hugs & love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentRoseBlack
Sun, 2023-12-10 03:34
A lovely tribute
To the love of your life. Knowing much of your story, it is so great to see yours and Stevens story unfold here on Neo and how much love you have for each other. It is a beautiful thing. Well done
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Sun, 2023-12-10 12:03
Dear Carrie,
Thank you for reading my poem of love for Steven. He deserves my love, friendship and respect. He is my match in everything, including stubbornness, lol!
*hugs & love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentLavender
Tue, 2023-12-12 09:41
What Gets Me Through The Day
Hello, Cat,
As others have said, a beautiful tribute. You are both fortunate and blessed!
L
Candlewitch
Tue, 2023-12-12 15:29
Dear Lavender,
I know how blessed I am, and I feel it every single day. I always say thank you as I am grateful for all I have. I was 29 when we met. This happened right after I gave up hope of ever finding real love in a mate. I was going to join the Air Force the next day...that did not happen. I allowed Steven to talk me out of it, lol! I am so glad that I did! Thank you for your kindness.
*hugs & love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
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