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Virus

Submitted by Frenchf on Wed, 2013-01-02 01:43

Which sort of virus would I like to have?
on my computer damaging my work?
on my text phone spying on me?
Or one placed in my body by lust?

Of all of these if I were to rave
I'd prefer the one with the perk
Except if the virus was HIV
And was a betrayal of trust

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Last few words:

Trying to emulate the rhyming in Pippa's song by Robert Browning.did I get a similar style?

Editing stage:

Comments

Wed, 2013-01-02 06:51

So what ? What were you thinking?

The poem works on its own.

I once had unprotected sex with someone I knew was a whore junkie, the romance being if she had it, I wanted it too. Yeah, sick, I know.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Wed, 2013-01-02 20:28

I'd worry about a death wish even for love although Romeo and Juliet was such

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