One week long cbt course doesn’t automatically make you an enlightened human being
Just like 3 days sober doesn’t make me a potential guest speaker at an aa meeting
And promotion isn’t a natural conclusion of longevity
Especially standing in my way, while I’m trying to actually do something
Also known as my job, actually your job, while you get paid more than me

I fucked you even though I told you nothing was gonna happen,
I was in my era as you pushed me on the kitchen counter,
I let it happen cos I didn’t like seeing you cry over your ex, with my saviour complex but I’m not a soft touch.
You have no idea who I am and where I came from and you can’t project on to me just cos you’re drunk.
Big man, small ego, showing off to the next girl you want, believe me, she’s repulsed, you cheated on your ex a year ago and you still use it, trying for the sympathy fuck.

I consensually crossed a boundary and was nothing but friendly, but you turned it on me.
I didn’t want to come to work, it’s hard enough, forcing a smile, picking your slack up.
If your name is on the rota I’m already exhausted, I guess I’ll be drinking on shift all weekend
I’m due an official apology after your disciplinary and I can’t wait to witness that level of insincerity

I’m due to officially forgive, that's my punishment, but I don’t want to hear you say sorry with a gun to your head, it’ll be meaningless.
With the HR rep squirming in his chair, maybe he enjoys this shit, after all, he made a career out of it, but no matter how awkward it gets, I won't say it.
I’m not childish, I was just raised honest and I never grew out of it. They don’t teach you this at school, it's in the subtext. The epilogue of education is a slow process of disappointment.

Always tell the truth, honesty is a virtue, it'll get out in the end, so best get ahead of it.
They teach us to call out bad behaviour when we see it, later on, we have to figure out they didn't really mean it, no, not like that, in a perfect world, perhaps, but after all, we’re here trying to run a business. Work doesn’t care about an inexhaustible resource. People will do more for less because people feel worthless.

It’s in the every day language we manipulate, Mankind, history, why the fuck am I a mystery, just ask me, or actually attempt to listen to the answer after asking it. I hold my hand up and you shut it down, like the circus has left town and I’m dancing in a field, my red nose fixed on a painted frown. I dared point out how many times youve let me down. One, two, three times in a row now, what a crazy bitch for admitting i was sad. If I like someone, then that’s the first red flag, my little brother told me once and hes pretty proud of that.

Hospitality, administration, skirts compulsory, make up a given, different rules that all mean the same thing. Tall boys in vintage caps multiplying, untill i cant tell them apart in my peripheral vision, but for certain, I know they’re all leaning against the back bar without looking. Am I attracted to them or are they all just wearing the same thing? We have options, they have uniforms, for all that, they don’t do anything. Still in the kitchen, backs breaking, sweating, knots with bodies bound to our spinal collumns, they’re holding back, cold pizza by the dishwasher, cigarette breaks twice as long as they could be, accquaintences at the do not serve or stand here water fountain. Fuck that.

I didn’t work my notice, they let me go and was gone, like id never worked there, it feels like that now, looking back.