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Treated like her
Treated like her, a precious gem,
Adored and cherished, from end to stem.
In her presence, I feel so alive,
Her love like a sweet, soothing dive.
Her touch is like a gentle caress,
In her arms, I find my true rest.
With every whisper, she captivates my heart,
In her eyes, I find my favorite part.
She fills my days with joy and laughter,
With her, I feel like ever after.
Her smile brightens up my world,
In her love, my soul is swirled.
Treated like her, I am truly blessed,
In her love, I am forever impressed.
She is my light, my guiding star,
With her, I know I'll never be far.
So here's my ode to the love we share,
Treated like her, beyond compare.
In her embrace, I find my home,
With her, my heart will always roam.
In a world where shadows dance and light retreats,
There lies a tale of love and bittersweet,
Of a maiden fair, with eyes so deep and clear,
Yet she was but a ghost, treated like mere air.
Her laughter rang like silver bells in spring,
But to those around her, she was nothing but a fleeting thing,
A whisper in the wind, a sigh upon the breeze,
Treated like a burden, brought down to her knees.
Her heart was a garden, blooming with care,
But no one took the time to stop and stare,
They passed her by, their eyes turned away,
Leaving her to wither, day by day.
Yet still she smiled, a beacon in the dark,
Her spirit unbroken, a tiny spark,
For she knew deep down, in the depths of her soul,
That she was worth more than any earthly toll.
And so she rose, like a phoenix from the flame,
No longer content to play the game,
Of being treated like a shadow, a forgotten wraith,
She stood tall and strong, defying fate.
Her voice rang out, a song of defiance,
A symphony of hope, a spark of reliance,
For she knew that she was more than they could see,
A force of nature, wild and free.
And so she soared, on wings of her own making,
No longer held back by the chains of their forsaking,
For she was a queen, a ruler in her right,
No longer treated like air, but a beacon of light.
So let her story be a lesson to us all,
That no matter how hard we may fall,
We have the power within us to rise above,
And be treated not like air, but with respect and love. Treated like her, a dream come true,
In her presence, I feel brand new.
Her love surrounds me like a warm embrace,
In her eyes, I find my safe space.
She lifts me up when I am down,
In her smile, I never frown.
Her laughter is music to my ears,
In her love, I have no fears.
Treated like her, I am cherished and adored,
In her arms, I am never ignored.
She brings out the best in me,
In her love, I am truly free.
Her touch soothes my soul,
In her presence, I feel whole.
She is my light in the darkest night,
In her embrace, everything feels right.
Treated like her, I am grateful every day,
In her love, I find my way.
She is my rock, my guiding star,
In her eyes, I see who we are.
She is the queen of my heart,
In her love, I never want to part.
Treated like her, I am blessed beyond measure,
In her presence, I find my treasure.
She is my everything, my reason to live,
In her love, I have so much to give.
Treated like her, I am forever grateful,
In her arms, I feel so peaceful.
She is my muse, my inspiration,
In her love, I find my salvation.
Treated like her, I am truly lucky,
In her eyes, I see my future so clearly.
She is the one I have been waiting for,
In her love, I am forevermore.
Treated like her, my heart sings with joy,
In her embrace, I feel like a boy.
She is my partner, my best friend,
In her love, I know our love will never end.
Treated like her, I am on cloud nine,
In her presence, everything feels fine.
She is the one I want by my side,
In her love, I have nothing to hide.
Treated like her, I am in awe,
In her arms, I find my greatest flaw.
She is the missing piece to my puzzle,
In her love, I see only the good and not the struggle.
Treated like her, I am complete,
In her eyes, my heart skips a beat.
She is the light in my darkest hour,
In her love, I feel the power.
Treated like her, I am alive and free,
In her presence, I am truly me.
She is the one who holds my heart,
In her love, I have found my art.
Treated like her, I am fulfilled,
In her embrace, my dreams are willed.
She is the one who makes me whole,
In her love, I have found my role.
Treated like her, I am grateful beyond words,
In her arms, I am free as birds.
She is the one I want to spend my life with,
In her love, I find my bliss.
Treated like her, I am forever grateful,
In her presence, I feel so faithful.
She is the one who makes me complete,
In her love, my heart will always beat.
Treated like her, I am cherished and adored,
In her embrace, I am forever restored.
She is the love of my life,
In her love, I have no strife.
Treated like her, I am truly blessed,
In her eyes, I find my rest.
She is the one I cherish most,
In her love, I feel like a ghost.
Treated like her, I am on cloud nine,
In her presence, everything feels fine.
She is my muse, my inspiration,
In her love, I find my salvation.
Treated like her, I am truly lucky,
In her eyes, I see my future so clearly.
Treated like her, my heart sings with joy,
In her embrace, I feel like a boy.
She is my partner, my best friend,
In her love, I know our love will never end. In a world where whispers linger in the air,
There lived a girl with a heart so rare,
She danced with grace, her spirit pure and true,
But to those around her, she was but a view.
Treated like a shadow, unseen and unheard,
Her laughter silenced, her cries ignored,
She longed for a touch, a word of care,
But all she found was empty air.
She walked through life with a heavy heart,
Each day a struggle, each moment a part,
Of the endless cycle of neglect and pain,
Treated like a burden, her spirit waned.
But deep within her, a fire burned bright,
A flicker of hope, a guiding light,
She knew she was more than they could see,
A soul so vibrant, wild and free.
So she rose from the ashes, a phoenix in flight,
No longer content to stay out of sight,
She raised her voice, a song of defiance,
A declaration of her own self-reliance.
She stood tall, a beacon in the dark,
A symbol of strength, a fiery spark,
No longer treated like an afterthought,
But as a force to be reckoned with, a lesson taught.
And so she shone, like a star in the sky,
No longer hidden, no longer shy,
For she was a queen in her own right,
No longer treated like air, but a radiant light.
Let her story be a reminder to us all,
That we have the power to rise and stand tall,
No matter how we're treated or what we face,
We can break free from the shadows and claim our place.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2024-04-07 02:40
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem is extensive and explores the themes of love, self-worth, and resilience in a detailed manner. The use of metaphors and similes is commendable, and they contribute to the vivid imagery throughout the poem. However, the length of the poem could potentially be reduced to maintain reader engagement.
The poem appears to be divided into three sections. The first and third sections seem to tell the story of a woman who is initially neglected but eventually rises to assert her worth. The second section appears to be an ode to a loved one. While each section is well-written, the connection between them could be made clearer to enhance the overall coherence of the poem.
The repetition of the phrase "Treated like her" throughout the poem is effective in reinforcing the central theme. However, the meaning of this phrase could be clarified. Is it referring to the way the speaker wants to be treated, or the way the woman in the story is treated?
In terms of rhythm and meter, the poem is mostly consistent, which makes it pleasant to read. However, there are a few lines that disrupt the rhythm, such as "Yet she was but a ghost, treated like mere air." and "For she was a queen, a ruler in her right,". Adjusting these lines to fit the established rhythm could improve the flow of the poem.
The poem also explores a range of emotions, from love and joy to pain and defiance. This emotional depth adds richness to the poem. However, some emotions, such as the pain of being treated like air, could be explored further to enhance the emotional impact of the poem.
In conclusion, the poem is well-written with vivid imagery and emotional depth. Improvements could be made in terms of length, coherence, clarity of the central phrase, rhythm, and exploration of emotions.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Sen99
Mon, 2024-04-08 14:49
An enjoyable read
You have a nice, euphonious way with words, the meter and phrase lengths were varied through the poem, but you kept the rhymes going. Finally, I never could place anyone on such a pedestal but clearly you have a strong inspiration.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2024-04-09 07:37
hello poet,
I think this line should be two lines:
In her love, I know our love will never end. In a world where whispers linger in the air,
like this:
In her love, I know our love will never end.
In a world where whispers linger in the air,
fantastic work! I usually find verses that are of great meaning and depth for me and quote them back to the poet. but in this case I was enchanted by the whole piece and could not break it up! Excellent!
*hugs, Cat
*
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