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Toolboxes

My brother told me an odd detail
about our elderly mother's passing,
as we spoke on the phone

His words washing over me like a wave,
surrounding me in emotions
I couldn’t seem to contain

Something about falling and hitting your head
on a damn toolbox left in the front room,
near where you fell and never came back

I always think of you now
when I see my red-painted toolboxes
A wrench, a worn wood-handled screwdriver
So many objects for fixing things
All of them with their very specific purpose

Like that tool I’ve lost, or loaned to someone maybe,
in my mind there is never just the one I need
for the pinpricks or the punctures
that sometimes consume my attention
in this broken-down palace of you no longer here

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Last few words: 
Still working my way along the path of grief.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

the subtle hint of remorse in this one, that says you feel you might have "fixed" whatever was wrong with the relationship; if only you had the right tools! I'm not sure if there was a death or just the dissolution of a relationship, but we always have 20-20 hindsight, when it comes to that. Hopefully, you will eventually heal from this trauma and stop looking for that "special tool"
that cures and fixes everything. Nice job! ~ Geez.
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Always value your input Geez - thank you! I've added a line in the first stanza to hopefully clear up any ambiguity about the message.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

clearer now. I'm still not clear about why this death seems to weigh so heavy on your mind. I will assume that it is someone very close to you. [Seeing that it was your brother that you were speaking with], I will further assume, that it could be your Mother or a sibling. As to the idea of you wanting to have had the "right" tool for fixing whatever was broken, I see that I am not far wrong? ~ Geez.
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Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
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Yes, my mother's death, so you can probably understand the weight. There was actually a toolbox involved in her passing. An awful little detail that left an indelible impression on me that resurfaces whenever I dig around in my toolboxes. The tool references were more at not being able to repair the hole from her loss rather than a relationship that needed repair.

Thanks for your time Geez!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

that you wrote the first two stanzas in three lines and then the rest in lines of five. It adds to the feel of shock and wonder about hearing of your Mother's death. The five line ones are more like having had the time to absorb the news and reflect, you are more inclined to think about the loss and wishing that you had a tool for easing the pain. Nice adjustment! Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

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