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Three Runes: Thorn, Wealth, Game

Submitted by IRiz on Mon, 2018-07-23 15:43

Perfect chaotic flow, murmur of words,
morning echoes surfing on sound waves.
News highlights, gurgling coffee makers,
starting engines, and slamming doors.
My neighbors wake up to the meter of days
and absolute lack of rhyme.

I am one of the sounds surrounding them.
Half-bird, half-human vibe.
Doh-Me-Sol-Doh of the morning,
I bark with the dogs, hang on conference calls,
hide in the voices of lovers
and feed distant storms.

When books whisper, screens blink, cars talk,
bull-frogs moan, cicadas scream,
no tuning-forks, no metronomes,
nobody watches over what is right and wrong,
and nobody cares,
it is hard not to be lost in the chorus.

And I am,
almost.
However,
three runes are still left.
They don’t let me forget who I am,
through the THORNS came my WEALTH
and my life was a GAME.
That is how I manage to sound
in tune with myself.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Mon, 2018-07-23 16:02

through the THORNS came my WEALTH
and my life was a GAME.

this is a mind blowing line describing a carefree nomadic lifestyle which is driven not by a compass but by an inner free spirit and gut feeling and guided by the sounds wonderfully versed in "Half-bird, half-human vibe".

just like one cup of tea is not enough I will have more sips of this treat..
.......................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

IRiz

Mon, 2018-07-23 16:23

IRiz's picture
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Oh, Raj,
thank you very much for reading.
Have you read The Rune Poem?
It is an alphabetical poem written in England dated to about 1000 A.D., although runes themselves were already about 1000 years old when it was written. The symbols were believed to connect the real and world of spirits and were used for fortune telling. I tried it and ended up with the message I put in my poem.
Have a nice night.

IRiz

author comment

raj

Mon, 2018-07-23 16:32

my earlier comment was impulsive after the first reading but then my gut feeling was that the poem has a Nordic touch and feel...so i searched online for rune and got some background information about the script dating back to ages...rune stones ..rune magic of age old times...based on that I must say you have used the three runes pretty well in the poem
......................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

IRiz

Mon, 2018-07-23 16:50

IRiz's picture
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Thank you,
I hope you enjoyed a bit of travel in time and space.

IRiz

author comment

raj

Tue, 2018-07-24 04:32

Yes IRiz I certainly enjoyed it
.......................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Rula

Tue, 2018-07-24 13:17

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dear Irene.
If Only I can have the pills you take :)

I love the three runes and how you put them in capitals.
One thing only confounded me as I was reading the third stanza as you started

"And I am
Almost.
However, "

Shouldn't the first two lines be part of the previous stanza?
Maybe I am missing something?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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IRiz

Tue, 2018-07-24 14:45

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Hi Rula,
Thank you for your time and kindness.
I recently read The Poem of Runes. It is inspiring read!
Pills? Hahaha. But joking apart, my pills are climbing, running, long walks in the woods, oceans of coffee. I am gluten free for an about four years now and do feel less foggy.

About formating, you have not missed anything, I will probably edit the lines. I use breaks to force the reader to make a pause. Maybe I don't need these breaks there.

IRiz

author comment

lovedly

Tue, 2018-07-24 17:01

lovedly's picture

taking folks on a merry go around
not like in a circus
but Universe
then I see all along with them
and show what they could not see

imagery is my forgery
and
so I can't conceal
they enjoy their pills
and I enjoy paying for them
such are poetical emotions

we are passed the age of delivery
our grand children are now up to it

they know
if they forget the night after Pill
then granpa will foot the bill
happily as we will help him live to be
a greater one
be happy
great- grand pap ye
will call they thee
our kids

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