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Thoughts

Submitted by Keith Logan on Wed, 2017-04-05 05:22

A thousand years ago as I recall
my life was ever easy and carefree;
today as I crawl slowly up the wall
I wonder can this imbecile be me?
I’m in a spin, or else out of my tree
still nothing seems to work the way it ought;
my insecurity is plain to see
since every single nerve is frayed and fraught.

Is there an answer to the questions brought
into some kind of focus now and then?
The war within my mind has been hard fought
yet I’m retreating unbowed to my den.

As poetry dispels all thoughts of gloom,
I’m happy here in my own padded room.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Keith Logan

Wed, 2017-04-05 13:33

It is good

to be able to express one's frustration now and again, and again, and again.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment

lovedly

Wed, 2017-04-05 16:47

I just posted a poem on frustration

keith sir you may like it

Geezer

Wed, 2017-04-05 09:56

I see now...

why you call yourself the "Happy Chappy" Even as you write of being afraid for your mind, you still have a place that is a "Happy Place"! LOL This is good. I felt a little cheated, as you ended with just two lines, instead of the quatrain, but... ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Keith Logan

Wed, 2017-04-05 13:39

Sorry you felt cheated

but the poem is written in the form of a sonnet. Many writers shove all fourteen lines together and leave it to the reader to separate thoughts. I prefer to give clear hints by using the first eight lines to put forth the premise, the next four reinforce or make a counterpoint and the last couple act as a sort of summary.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment

Keith Logan

Wed, 2017-04-05 17:06

longevity?

I am five years your junior, if memory serves (which it seldom does).

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2017-04-05 16:41

Not really...

feeling cheated. Probably wrong word to use. I think I felt more surprise, than anything. I really liked it anyways. I've most likely used that or some other type of ending that caught people by surprise.
~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Keith Logan

Wed, 2017-04-05 17:12

Shakespeare

wrote his plays in pentameter (the nearest poetic form to everyday speech. He finished each act with a rhyming couplet, a clear signal to the audience.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

author comment

lovedly

Wed, 2017-04-05 16:50