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Summertime Blues

Today I walked
With your hand in mine
Down a starry-eyed beach
But only in an image

Taken so long ago
I forget the date
The time the place
I just know that moment is timeless

It transcends an age
It travels through the world
In the pocket of a girl
Who misses her picture perfect

Through summer months
And blues and tears and miles
This image remains
It is beautiful and whole

Something I, the girl, is no longer.
I miss your hand
I miss the feel the smell the taste
I miss everything about you

And on these hot summer days
I am left to picture your hand
Reaching across a dimension
To once more fit in mine

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Not Explicit Content

Comments

This is a very lovely piece! Almost all the whole lines are very beautiful. Through your imagination you could sense, feel and touch this elegant woman from a distance. Sometimes our memory play back and replays our romantic relationships we had in the past. And this gives us a moment feeling of love and joy that is shortlived!

I just heart this piece the way it was written!

Elegant and enormously gratifying!
.

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

Thank you!

"To fly is to fall."

author comment

it is a sorrow filled picture you have left us readers with. we can only assume what became of the couple. he may have died or left the girl. with these lines I guess he passed away:

And on these hot summer days
I am left to picture your hand
Reaching across a dimension
To once more fit in mine

always, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

thanks for the feedback!

"To fly is to fall."

author comment

piece has a sad connotation to it. Love your style. Keep well.

I've missed your writing. This poem is a good reason for writing the time, date and people on the back of every photograph.
I have many pictures that are precious, but when I am gone, the memory will be too, and people will say; "I wonder who was in that picture with him? What is that story? I like this piece a lot. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Sorry someone you cared so deeply for is separated from your over space and time. The poem is absolutely beautiful. If I have one suggestion it concerns stanza 5

Something I, the girl, is no longer.
I miss your hand
I miss the feel the smell the taste
I miss everything about you

That first line, is that a typographical error or a misplaced comma. I understand what it says but it reads a little off to me. Otherwise an amazing poem.

Great job,
Tim

omg

captured forever and expressed so well.
Mark

Be a vibrant component of our Neopoet community by talking with other Neopoets.

Congratulations on your contest win! I loved this one so much. Well deserved!

Tim

Thanks so much!

"To fly is to fall."

author comment

your win of poem of the month! Well done! ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Looks like we'll be needing a larger area for winnings in all the profiles ;~)
Mark

Be a vibrant component of our Neopoet community by talking with other Neopoets.

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