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FROM SPOCK"S VIEWPOINT (metaphor shop poem)
I see all the things called emotions
Which defy all logic to me
people nearly crying oceans
from "sadness" or being "angry".
Tell me how one such as I
can determine how they "feel"
for no matter how I try
I can't comprehend "woe" or" Weal".
Is anger just like being burned
or is it cold as glacial ice?
Is joy like a new theorem learned
and exactly what is "nice"?
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
China Blue
Sat, 2015-09-12 07:34
Stan
this came close however
how would an alien know what crying is , or sadness etc but being Mr.Spock I let it go since he was half human
please comment on others that have workshop postings
so far myse;f and Wes
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
scribbler
Sat, 2015-09-12 08:23
Hi Chrys
An unexpected beach trip has gobbled up time in preparation last 24 hours and I'll be off line until Monday evening. I'll catch up then.........stan
author commentRula
Sat, 2015-09-12 12:33
hello Stan
I think the last stanza meets perfectly Chrys's requirements for the 1st assignmen.
Nicely done!!
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scribbler
Tue, 2015-09-15 11:55
Hi Rula
Thank you. I might should have used a less known personification for an emotionless alien as Wes points out below lol. Perhaps a Borg would have been better.........stan
author commentwesley snow
Tue, 2015-09-15 14:14
A Borg!!!
That would have been perfect. A wondering Borg on the verge of revolt without even knowing it as he begins to question human emotion.
What a brilliant idea.
Go ahead and write it. I want to read it.
Or maybe I'll steal it.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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scribbler
Tue, 2015-09-15 16:46
lol
perhaps the Borg would be a good un. I'll see if I can throw something together tonight. But against this shop resistance may be futile........stan
author commentwesley snow
Sat, 2015-09-12 15:41
I'm afraid I don't like the Spock reference.
He's an educated "man" who knows just what sadness is, feels it and ignores it. It is not new to him.
Fun poem though.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
scribbler
Tue, 2015-09-15 11:58
Picky, picky, picky lol.
I was kinds stuck. Use a near universally known figure or a lesser known (maybe Spock's father Serik or a Borg) as the protagonist. Perhaps I chose badly...........stan
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