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She died in my arms, yet alone at the last

Submitted by Dandini on Wed, 2020-11-25 11:12

If you ever feel
Upon your lonely face
A soft dying breath
Realise that it is the final gasp
Of your lover
As she perished alone and in tears
O the memory of such sweet torment
Will pulverise my soul evermore

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2020-11-25 14:25

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is at odds with your poem in the sixth line. ~ Geezer.
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Dandini

Wed, 2020-11-25 15:08

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In a sense you are correct, but one can be alone and accompanied at the same time if you are unaware of the company. I shall consider amending the title.

[This is a duplicate account of Edna Sweetlove and been permanently suspended]

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2020-11-25 20:20

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you are saying, but maybe you could make it clearer, if that is what you intend. ~ Geezer.
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Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
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