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The Rise and Demise of The Maid of Orléans (For Workshop Rhythm and Meter in Poetry )

A child here heaven does call, - shall be brave
Souls must save, fighter stand tall
By virgin hands English fall

Will of God speaks to a girl - precious youth
Witness truth, her fire unfurl
Almighty wrath she now hurls

Fearless, accepting her fate - sad demise
Spirit rise through holy gate
In heaven trust, angels wait

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Hello, nervously I add my effort for the workshop Rhythm and Meter in Poetry. I hope I have achieved the task given to me. I feel thanks to this workshop, I understand syllables and the effect they have on poetry. It's been fun but VERY hard My theme is a tribute to Joan of Arc, I hope this was kept through the piece. It was quite the challenge Below I have pasted the rules of the challenge so readers have a better understanding of what I am meant to be achieving. The style is to be in ENGLYN PENFYR. It is syllabic and rhymed in nature, as opposed to metered, but the use of internal crossover rhymes lends it a very rhythmic quality. The poem is comprised of three line stanzas, and each line has a rhyming word in the seventh position. A three syllable caesura is added to line #1, which cross-rhymes with the first three syllables of line #2. Many thanks for reading LG
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hello Mark, thank you ever so much. I struggled with that line. I wanted to use the word in. But the line then breaks the rules by becoming 8 syllables long. It has to be 7. But I will try a revise that line.

Thanks for reading and the help today

Kind regards

LG

author comment

From:

She trusts heaven, angels wait
to:
In heaven trust, angels wait

Is that better or worse ? lol my brain feels a little numb :)

author comment

a part of this workshop, but felt compelled to say that I didn't have to read the author's comments to realize that this was about Joan of Arc! So kudos to you, for writing something so well that it led me to the proper assumption! ~ Geezer.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
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You just made my day :)

Thank you Geezer, I am thrilled it read right. I do like Joan of Arc. So I am beaming you got the theme.

Kind regards

LG

author comment

Great LG you have the form spot on and for a first EP its really good. Congratulations all that syllable counting worked.
Little point line 3 has 8 syllables but minor issue.
Very well done

Hello, I keep counting 7 so I am confused. Any chance you can breakdown that line and show me the 8th syllable ? Then I can work on changing that offensive line lol

Thanks ever so much. It was fun to do. Even though hard work
Kind regards
LG

author comment

Will /of /God spo/ken/ to /a /girl

Spoken to me is two syllables do you see it as one?

Will /of /God spo/ken/ to /a /girl

Spoken to me is two syllables do you see it as one?
Will of God spoken to her?

Oh I was looking at the line before as you said line 3
By virgin hands English fall

But I see it in the line you say. I think I missed the fact I put an “a” in the line. I will change spoken
Thanks ever so much for spotting it, so I can fix it

Kindest regards
LG

author comment

I have the dreaded flu at the mo with a head like cotton wool. No wonder you couldnt work it out... Sorry for misleading you! Sam

Oh that is awful to hear. I hope you feel better soon, and thanks so much for giving me your time, especially when you feel so poorly

All the best

LG

author comment

When you actually arrive at a revision that you are happy with it makes you feel good. I also knew that it was about J of A by your title.
Language is fine and appropriate to your theme.
Pacing etc. Poem reads well.
A good historical theme, I enjoyed it.
Both beginning and ending are good also.

Overall a fine piece and a delightful read.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

I worked hard on this and yes very pleased with the finished results. All down to the wonderful teaching and support from Sam and all on here

Many thanks for reading it and glad you liked my theme.

Kindest regards
LG

author comment

Classical forms are harder work than free verse in you really have to think about word choice but when its right the results can be lovely . Its a good form for your repertoire and learning metre and how we can exploit wirds fir sound and meaning will help all your poetry.

Thanks Samary, it's been a great learning curve. I am looking forward to the rest of the workshop
Many thanks for all your support

Kind regards
LG

author comment
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