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Rants About Religion--Chapter One

I wonder if the foundation
For your religion
Is so baseless.
Theology exams,yeah
Nobody aced it.
We cheated
But these people passed us.
Yet they have the guts
To still call themselves pastors??

Right to the Masters.
I wonder if it is right
To start my pilgrimage
Right from Damascus?
For the sin is so ugly
I have to mask it.
Buried deep within
In righteousness' casket.

I have just one question,
Please let me ask it.
Is forgiveness to you like
Fetching water with a basket?
Correct answer for three points
The ball is in your court.
Shoot it from the centre
Into the loop,basket!!
Ball! Bounce it!!
Weighing your shots
In percentages and fake ounces.
So drunk on sin and you're
So proud to announce it??
Even a milligram of disobedience
Is dangerous,renounce it.

And so I ask
Is the foundation
For your religion so baseless?
For it still is religion
Even if it's nameless.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


I read your poetry profile about the subjects you like to write about - and I really get that. This poem interests me because of it's questioning of faith/theology and how other people get to judge us mortals. The rhythm on this was great, the sense of the ball bouncing, sharp.

Jenifer Jaspa James

Thanks for reading and for your comment.
Glad you checked out my profile and linked it to my work.Yes,I like it when things or situations question our faith,they either break or make us.I like the latter effect :). Thanks for noticing the rhythm and the sense of the ball bouncing :)

author comment

It really did sound like a rant, so I'll forgive some of the lines I felt were unnecessary...

But to the point... I think I know you ;)

Welcome to Neopoet. The experience will be worthwhile.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

Thanks for reading.Yes,it sure did sound like a rant.

I'd be glad if you could point out all of the lines you felt were unnecessary.

Yes,you know me :).

Thanks for the welcome I believe very well that the experience will be worthwhile--Already liking it here.

author comment

Yes,took a while but I'm glad I've finally posted.

I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and for those lines in particular.

Thanks for that critique.Even though I'm not actively editing I think I'll consider it.It makes much sense that way since one of the aims of this work is to challenge faith.

And no,I don't sing but I do perform my poetry :).The profile picture was taken during the second edition of a poetry show called "ALEWA."
Even though I was a little pissed off during my performance it turned out to be one of my favourite shots :)


author comment

Welcome to Neopoet! Liked the rhythm of this...I imagined rapping this...(ahem, well as far as a middled aged English Home Counties type not!)

Seriously, liked the theme of hypocrisy running through it. Will be checking out your work!


PS The title is a bit obvious...'Faint Faith...'Heretic Heroes?'...'Faith Faker'....????

Thanks for welcoming me to Neopoet.

You noticed the rhythm too :) and how wonderful you imagined rapping it.This work was actually inspired by a rap song, "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West featuring Common and Mase.
As a matter of course,this poem is my failed attempt at writing a verse for rap :)

I'm glad you'll be checking out my work :)

Yes,the title...It was actually intentional,though your suggestions aren't bad.


author comment

Yes I agree. I liked it though religious myself

:) I like your reply,positive.

author comment
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