Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Pristine Day

As the fresh morning breaths
break through the silver sky,
entangled rococo threads
emulate a talisman;
an enchantment has just
presaged a new born day

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

The title is appropriate and as appealing as the poem as too the language. Honestly, I will need to check the meaning of rocco which I will do.
......................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

For the kind word and rococo was a typo.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Oh Ok...then what was supposed to be there in place of rocco?
........................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

^_^

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Oh...now I need to find out what rococo means...will do that...
.....................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Or add sth after to clarify the image....mmmm

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

This is short. Some would say a brief slice

Its beautiful. I cant see anything to change

Hugs Jayne x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

I have the intention to build on this one. Not sure which direction I'm taking it or it's taking me. Guess the coming days will show.
Thank you for giving this little piece such a kind visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

I've read this about a dozen times over the last few hours. It's been growing on me since my first read, so I came back a few times. I don't know exactly what to say about it though. I really like the word rococo in there. And I'm not sure if you had "baroque" somewhere in there before or if I just thought of it because of rococo. But I like that too. Oops I think I'm just rambling . But I like this. It has a nice air to it. Seems like an opening to something more.

Raffy

Welcome to Neopoet. It's always great to meet new friends here.
I'm happy to know that you like this. I'm not sure about the word baroque, though.
I am thinking to add to this piece, but not sure where to go with it.
Much appreciate your kind visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

as is your poetry
a daily Inspiration
roccocco notwithstanding
leave it as it is
a mystery about any poetry is astounding
roccolilily

''you may perhaps delete the last word
'''day''
it is either understood
or
superfluous

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.